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amandafarris03

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Reply with quote  #1 
so my dd13 started for the first time at the end of last month.  during practice is fine to wear her liner until her body gets use to all this and regulates.  what I'm worried about is next year during competitions, recital, and nationals. (thankfully this all started after her last competition and won't possibly come again before recital next week!)  (I've done some math and it SHOULDN'T affect her this nationals *crossing my fingers*).  when she competes next year she will be 14.  what do your dd's do? are you tampons, liners and pray they don't show on stage?  she already thinks liners/pads are GROSS so I have a feeling tampons are looming around the corner even though I didn't want her to go down that way till she was much older!!!
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heidi459

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Reply with quote  #2 
My dd got her period at 12 and, because of dance, decided to try tampons right away.  Her decision.  And it certainly made things much easier.  Can I ask what you are concerned about?  Why you wouldn't want her to use them until much older?
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amandafarris03

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Quote:
Originally Posted by heidi459
My dd got her period at 12 and, because of dance, decided to try tampons right away.  Her decision.  And it certainly made things much easier.  Can I ask what you are concerned about?  Why you wouldn't want her to use them until much older?


I used to (before she got her period and I was in this predicament [smile] ) think that tampons should be a choice AFTER you have sex for the first time.  I didn't start my period till I was 16 so realistically I didn't have as long to go before tampons were an option for me (I think I was 19 when i used my first tampon, and I did dance through high school and we never wore a leotard so this wasn't a problem for myself).  also my bff won't let her dd13 use them yet (she's had hers since she was 11) because she doesn't want her to basically "put anything up there until she is ready for sex" but now here I am thinking CRAP what the heck am I going to do and why didn't I think ahead with this!
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my2miracles

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Reply with quote  #4 
Ha I'm the opposite trying to get a reluctant DD14 almost 15 to wear tampons for dance.  She's afraid to try them (not sure why) but I know once she does, she'll never go back.  I do have to say, I don't understand the have to have sex before tampons thing.  They are a utility that really free up girls/woman to do things like dance and swim during that time.
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PasDeChatMom

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Reply with quote  #5 
IMO you're way overthinking this - tampons aren't sexual, they aren't like having sex and honestly sex shouldn't even be part of the tampons vs. pads conversation. Go to the different tampon manufacturer websites, request samples and let your dd choose which ones she thinks she wants to try (you can be part of that conversation if you're comfortable). My 13.5 year old dd hasn't started her period yet but she knows how to use a tampon and takes them with her when she goes away to her ballet summer intensives just in case she starts her period. 
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tendumom

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Reply with quote  #6 
I don't usually mention my profession here because it is irrelevant. As a gynecologist, there is no reason not to use tampons. This concept that one should have sex first is, to be frank, ridiculous and, as has already been said, has absolutely nothing to do with the use of tampons. I'm admittedly a bit horrified that this would be the thinking in this day and age. PLEASE make sure your dd does not harbor any such illogical concepts.

My dd used one the very first day of her first period. She needed a little assistance for the first one, I stood outside the door for the second. 

When I realized her first period was around the corner, I went to every manufacturer's website I could and ordered free samples. We did a little science experiment. Opened up one of each variety and looked at them all, played with the applicators, etc. Totally demystifies them. Then, in the interest of science, we put each one in water and saw how they expanded. We talked about the shape of the vaginal canal too. It really became clear why some tampons are more prone to leakage than others. Dd ended up choosing ob, the tampon that was designed by an ob/gyn. [smile] Surprising that in all these years that other brands have not followed suit with similar products. It's the only one that can truly expand to fit the contours of the vaginal canal in any situation. Her second favorite was Playtex sport as it has an extra piece to catch leaks. 

Things to understand for your dd. You cannot put a tampon in too far. There's no where for it go. If it hurts, it's not in far enough. The outer 1/3 of the canal is muscle. If you don't get it past that, it's going to hurt.

Do her a favor and get her started with tampons. You cannot predict when her period will or will not come. Some are that lucky, but many are not.. and even then, there are variations in cycles that are perfectly normal which will throw things off.  
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hsealover

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Reply with quote  #7 
DD started her period at 10, right before her 11th birthday, she started wearing tampons at 11. I think the second time she had her period. At the time she only wore them when she went swimming or had dance. I don't remember exactly when, but she wasn't even 12 yet before she completely switched over to tampons. It was her decision completely and whatever she was most comfortable with.
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Noel

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Reply with quote  #8 
There is another option. Menstrual cups, but I don't think I'd be able to focus on dance with a cup. It is internal too.
 
I had DD, just turned 10, watch this. She recommends wearing a tampon whenever you perform high stakes.

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melissa745

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Reply with quote  #9 
My oldest has been using tampons since she was 11 with no problems. She's 14 now.

My younger daughter (who is on the dance team) hasn't been successful with them, but she tries each month! She's 12 now. Hopefully she'll figure them out soon. Costumes with pads are horrible!!
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Kfish1987

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Reply with quote  #10 
I started using them when I was 10. Because of my very heavy periods, I bled through my pads very quickly and stained my clothes and my sheets all the time. My Mom bought me tampons as she got tired of doing laundry and hanging out the clothes all the time (we didn't have a dryer). We tired every size. Started out with slender and by the time I was 13, I was at Super. I didn't have sex until I was 19.

I found out after my first child that I had fibroids all around my Uterus. These fibroids caused me to start my period when I was 9 and caused heavy and painful periods that lasted 7-10 days.

I am going to encourage my daughter to try tempons when she eventually starts her period.
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DanceTumbleCheerMom

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Reply with quote  #11 
DD12 started her period at 10 and started using tampons right away.  She has had a regular heavy flow from the start and pads were just not enough. 

DD14 is a pads only girl but she has light cycles and has not had any luck with tampons.  
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Ktyyyyyyy

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Reply with quote  #12 
My dd was a little older when she started. She was 14 (2 months from turning 15). She used tampons from day 1 and has never even used a pad. She started in the evening, so, since she wasn't in a rush to go anywhere, I suggested she try. We opened one up and I showed her how the applicator worked. I explained that it needed to be placed pretty far up, and if she could feel it, it wasn't far enough up. She got it in on the first try and has never looked back. Tampons are so much more convenient than pads for dancing or swimming especially. In my opinion, there's no reason to hold off until after having had sex. My dd hasn't even kissed a boy yet, so hopefully sex for her is still quite a ways away. I think you should talk to your dd and see what she wants to do. Give her the information, but let her decide since it is her body.
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heidi459

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Reply with quote  #13 

My mom thought the same.... that tampons should not, perhaps could not, be used until one had had sex.  I think I was about 16 when she found out I was taking hers to use... the woman freaked.  Assumed I was having sex.  Threatened to take me to the doctor for a complete physical (and yes, she phrased it as a threat).  It was very awkward and embarrassing.  I remember every detail to this day.  Geez... I hadn't even kissed a boy yet.  

Fwiw I'd discourage you from suggesting that one has anything to do with the other.  Sounds like the beginning of a hang up to me... and you certainly don't want that.

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Jacaranda

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Reply with quote  #14 
Don't try to predict when her periods will be, especially so far in advance and in the first year of menstruation. It can take a while for her body to develop its rhythm. In the first year it is quite normal to have one, then not have one for several months. Active kids may also have their cycle change on them.

Just be prepared for anything.

I also think it's best to avoid terms like the dreaded monthly (I know that is probabaly not what you say to her). But how she is introduced to periods is how she will often continue to view them. Viewing periods as bad, annoying, dreaded etc can set her up for a lifetime of feeling handicapped each time she has one.

Periods can be seen as a positive, wonderful thing. It is a sign she is healthy and her body is working correctly. Each period comes with an increase in Oestrogen which usually helps the body to develop dopamine, meaning you will feel happier and more focused once your periods reset everything.
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jwsqrdplus2

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Reply with quote  #15 
I have 2 girls: 1 late bloomer who was 15 1/2 when she started (my dancer), and 1 "normal" bloomer who was 13 1/2 (my softball/basketball/track girl).  My younger one only started a year after her sister despite being 3 years younger.  Both went straight to tampons.  Neither one liked pads as they were cumbersome in athletic wear.  The dancer took a little longer to regulate, but the younger one was regular and fairly heavy right off the bat.  Both also fight with cramps to varying degrees which is something I do not have experience with!

As far as costumes go, I would make sure your dancer changes her pad/tampon frequently (perhaps a bit more frequently than really needed) at comps just to be safe.  Ash had a comp where I suggested that she "run to the bathroom" between her 2nd and 3rd dance.  She said she was fine, and breakthrough bleeding during the 3rd dance (fortunately a black costume).  Her next costume was a white one, so while she was in panic mode, I washed out her underwear and dried them using my car heater (our venue only had paper towels in the bathrooms!).  She learned a valuable lesson about changing her tampon more frequently during comps and having a spare pair of underwear in her costume bag!
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amandafarris03

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Reply with quote  #16 
Quote:
Originally Posted by my2miracles
Ha I'm the opposite trying to get a reluctant DD14 almost 15 to wear tampons for dance.  She's afraid to try them (not sure why) but I know once she does, she'll never go back.  I do have to say, I don't understand the have to have sex before tampons thing.  They are a utility that really free up girls/woman to do things like dance and swim during that time.


to be honest it was just my thinking when I was a teenager, that's how I justified it.  never crossed my mind that she would be grossed out by liners/pads. so now I'm struggling to change my thinking from the past 20 years.  don't know why I thought it but I was a kid... [tongue]
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dancermom128

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Reply with quote  #17 
I don't even remotely understand where sex would be related to tampon use.
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amandafarris03

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Reply with quote  #18 
Quote:
Originally Posted by tendumom
I don't usually mention my profession here because it is irrelevant. As a gynecologist, there is no reason not to use tampons. This concept that one should have sex first is, to be frank, ridiculous and, as has already been said, has absolutely nothing to do with the use of tampons. I'm admittedly a bit horrified that this would be the thinking in this day and age. PLEASE make sure your dd does not harbor any such illogical concepts.

My dd used one the very first day of her first period. She needed a little assistance for the first one, I stood outside the door for the second. 

When I realized her first period was around the corner, I went to every manufacturer's website I could and ordered free samples. We did a little science experiment. Opened up one of each variety and looked at them all, played with the applicators, etc. Totally demystifies them. Then, in the interest of science, we put each one in water and saw how they expanded. We talked about the shape of the vaginal canal too. It really became clear why some tampons are more prone to leakage than others. Dd ended up choosing ob, the tampon that was designed by an ob/gyn. [smile] Surprising that in all these years that other brands have not followed suit with similar products. It's the only one that can truly expand to fit the contours of the vaginal canal in any situation. Her second favorite was Playtex sport as it has an extra piece to catch leaks. 

Things to understand for your dd. You cannot put a tampon in too far. There's no where for it go. If it hurts, it's not in far enough. The outer 1/3 of the canal is muscle. If you don't get it past that, it's going to hurt.

Do her a favor and get her started with tampons. You cannot predict when her period will or will not come. Some are that lucky, but many are not.. and even then, there are variations in cycles that are perfectly normal which will throw things off.  


thank you for your input.  I haven't mentioned ANY of this to DD.  just said "well if you don't like these liners then we are going to have to start talking about tampons"  I haven't discussed anything sex related with her.  really my thinking came from when I was a teenager, and because I didn't have an issue NEEDING to wear tampons until I was 19 or so I never had a need to change that mind set.  almost a "well this worked for me so it will work for her".  I realize NOW (unfortunately) that I need to change that opinion on things.
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amandafarris03

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Reply with quote  #19 
Quote:
Originally Posted by heidi459

My mom thought the same.... that tampons should not, perhaps could not, be used until one had had sex.  I think I was about 16 when she found out I was taking hers to use... the woman freaked.  Assumed I was having sex.  Threatened to take me to the doctor for a complete physical (and yes, she phrased it as a threat).  It was very awkward and embarrassing.  I remember every detail to this day.  Geez... I hadn't even kissed a boy yet.  

Fwiw I'd discourage you from suggesting that one has anything to do with the other.  Sounds like the beginning of a hang up to me... and you certainly don't want that.



you are right it's totally a hang up on my part.  and I haven't mentioned anything about it to dd.  we THINK she is high functioning Asperger's (it really only effects her socially, she isn't a rocker or anything) which I think plays along into my thinking.  but other than mentioning to her "if you don't like the liners then we need to start thinking about tampons".  that was all the conversation we had about it.  I haven't shown her how it works, explained how it goes in, anything of that nature.  so I haven't gotten to far deep into anything I can't get myself out of. [tongue] 
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amandafarris03

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Reply with quote  #20 
Quote:
Originally Posted by jwsqrdplus2

As far as costumes go, I would make sure your dancer changes her pad/tampon frequently (perhaps a bit more frequently than really needed) at comps just to be safe.  Ash had a comp where I suggested that she "run to the bathroom" between her 2nd and 3rd dance.  She said she was fine, and breakthrough bleeding during the 3rd dance (fortunately a black costume).  Her next costume was a white one, so while she was in panic mode, I washed out her underwear and dried them using my car heater (our venue only had paper towels in the bathrooms!).  She learned a valuable lesson about changing her tampon more frequently during comps and having a spare pair of underwear in her costume bag!


wow thank you for that!!!
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amandafarris03

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Reply with quote  #21 
Quote:
Originally Posted by dancermom128
I don't even remotely understand where sex would be related to tampon use.


it wasn't what anyone had told me - it was how my teenage brain justified it.  I know that it wasn't the best thinking, but until now I hadn't a need to change it. [tongue]
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Phx115

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Reply with quote  #22 
Tendumom- Thanks for the great information! I love the idea of getting samples and demystifying the process.

I started at 12 and wouldn't consider using them because this was around the time of all the publicity surrounding Toxic Shock Syndrome. If I remember, ob was targeted. I'm guessing unfairly, too.

Anyway, I was 18 before I tried them, and never looked back. Six years of wasted worry about pads failing in the middle of class, no swimming, etc.

I plan to start DD, when the time comes, right to tampons. There's just so much more freedom with them. (I sound like a commercial, sorry.)
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disneymom2two

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Reply with quote  #23 
My mom was one who thought you shouldn't use tampons until after you were married (she was an older mom - had me at 39 and would be 89 this year so definitely from a different time).  She didn't freak out though when she found out I was using them which was a bit surprising given how dramatic she was.  Once I started using them I didn't stop until getting an ablation a couple of years ago.  I expect my daughter, once she gets it (hoping doctor is right and it will be a while), will use them as well regardless of her age (she's 11).
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tendumom

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Reply with quote  #24 
The brand associated with toxic shock syndrome was Rely, which is no longer available.

My mom never used them either. Those first attempts on my own, depending on the pamphlet alone, were so frustrating!
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StepLeap

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Reply with quote  #25 
I'm going to second the idea of menstrual cups. Softcup brand are disposable and are the most similar to inserting a tampon. They can be worn for "up to" 12 hours (usually more like 8 depending on the day). Diva cup is reusable and takes a little bit of a learning curve, but once you get it is great. Cramps are no longer an issue with Diva cup as well- that was a pleasant surprise.
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