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louandgrace

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Reply with quote  #1 
My DD , almost 8, is an anxious child in general but has always been the opposite when it came to dance. She was moved to competitive dancing this year (last year she was brought in for a troupe dance so not entirely inexperienced) She's excellent, has always been dependable for DT, scores highly in her exams and has already placed this season with her solo and is always front & centre in troupes.

Today we had a comp -we aren't in the USA if that matters- and we were taking her highly polished solo and she refused point blank to go on. Despite the best efforts of her DT she cried and trembled and would not even attempt it.

What do I do to fix this? She's so disappointed in herself this evening because she knows she would have been good but I'm worried she's going to dwell on this and become afraid to dance in front of anyone.
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crafty1

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Reply with quote  #2 
My advice is...drop it. Don't talk about it unless your DD brings it up. If you dwell on it, it could make her more anxious.

I know it is really hard to do this, but you could wind up getting in her head. Let her know how proud of her you are the next time she dances (before she dances and when she gets off the stage).
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joriebelle

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Reply with quote  #3 
Quote:
Originally Posted by crafty1
My advice is...drop it. Don't talk about it unless your DD brings it up. If you dwell on it, it could make her more anxious.

I know it is really hard to do this, but you could wind up getting in her head. Let her know how proud of her you are the next time she dances (before she dances and when she gets off the stage).


I agree.  Is she still okay with doing group dances?  It may just be a phase that she needs to work through on her own.
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louandgrace

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Reply with quote  #4 
Thanks for your replies. I believe she will be fine in the group with the support of the others, and probably fine as a duet, I just don't understand why this came on so suddenly. We competed yesterday with her other solo which isn't as good as today's solo and she bounced on stage with no trouble. She didn't have her finest performance yesterday but still said she enjoyed it.

We have told her we were disappointed not to see her dance and that we didn't care about the score but it's just made her cry more and say she doesn't know why she panicked today. She's wept most of the evening. Feeling like a bad mummy, while I don't want to make her sadder, I don't want her to run away from this either.
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Suzit42

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Reply with quote  #5 
Quote:
Originally Posted by crafty1
My advice is...drop it. Don't talk about it unless your DD brings it up. If you dwell on it, it could make her more anxious.

I know it is really hard to do this, but you could wind up getting in her head. Let her know how proud of her you are the next time she dances (before she dances and when she gets off the stage).


I have seen approx half of our young soloists do something (blanking halfway through, crying, etc) like this.  It happens, and its okay.  Just keep encouraging her and be her soft place to fall.  I bet she kills it next time.
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louandgrace

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Reply with quote  #6 
Thank you. I could hug you all for these replies. She's asleep now and running a temperature,so I might have my answer as to why it happened.
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louandgrace

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Reply with quote  #7 
I just wanted to update. Dance broke for the summer shortly after this happened. She had exams in July and came out with "Honours Star" which is as high as she could have gotten. Last week she was invited to dance her solo with her school in a stage in front of loads of people at a festival in town. She was nervous but got right back up there.

Thank you again for putting my mind at rest.
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joriebelle

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Reply with quote  #8 
Congrats to your daughter!  I always love reading positive updates like this.  [smile]
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lauraberney

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Reply with quote  #9 

The basic mentality of children—whether they dance or not—is that they need to seek approval from parents. In this regard, it’s important that you assure your child of your approval and tell them how proud you are about their taking and sticking with dancing and how great they’re doing with their dance classes.

Performance pressure can hit anyone, and they’re just children. It’s a normal feeling but can be paralyzing. This is irrespective of the amount of time spent practicing, number of dance lessons, or the skill involved. However, you shouldn’t let your child get discouraged due to performance anxiety; encourage them to continue dancing.

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