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2dornot2d

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Reply with quote  #26 
I'm friends with SO, DTs and most moms. I'm also friends with many other studio's DTs and owners including our "competition" or "rival" studios. Most kids have instagram and some have Facebook. Our studio has Facebook and Instagram. Everyone's pretty connected via social media. Kids switch studios and they all see each other at conventions even though we don't go to the same competitions. Nobody ever publicly posts anything negative. 


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Suzit42

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Reply with quote  #27 
I only do FB. I am friends with SO, main DT and DDs solo DT personally. Especially with SO, its personal, positive posts only. We are both too old for public drama. I follow the studio page. We also have a private group for all comp staff, dancers and parents. The group is where we share pics, videos, jokes, memes, my kid needs a ride etc.
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joriebelle

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Reply with quote  #28 
I do.  I am Facebook friends with the SO and most of the dance teachers but only because they sent me a friend request first.  I'm also the photographer for the studio so most of the parents and alot of the kids send me friend requests so they can have easier access to my photos.
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dmjrm4

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Reply with quote  #29 
No, I have a personal policy to not be Facebook friends with any teachers, including SO and DTs.  I think I am the only one at our studio that is not friends with them.  It feels like the right decision for me.  I am friends with all of the dance moms at the studio.
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disneymom2two

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Reply with quote  #30 
Quote:
Originally Posted by disneymom2two
My daughter's dance teacher has a Facebook profile as Name choreographer which we follow but that is separate from her personal one which we do not. We also follow the studio but not the owner's personal page.

It's the same with our studio.  They can see my page but I don't post anything negative about dance or work so not a big deal.  The only things they comment on or like are pics or videos of my daughter.
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MamaOf2

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Reply with quote  #31 
I also am friends (or follow) SO and DTs on social media.    I'm also friends with fellow dance parents as well as dancers.  Everything dance specific with the SO and DTs seem to be positive.  Dancers and parents on the other hand. . . [rolleyes]
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Dancingemu

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Reply with quote  #32 
I was fb friends with all of the DTs and SO at our old place. They wanted everyone to feel like family and encourage it, but they never said anything negative about the studio or parents there.... They save that for the studio. The SO likes to put on a good fake from for the other local studios in the area so the other studios think there's no drama going on. 
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Dancingemu

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Reply with quote  #33 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Marnitalane
Our SO openly posts (on the studio's FB and Insta) pics of the same kids (2 in particular, both age 11 -- her FAVORITES!) It is really damaging to morale. We, and at least 4 other families, are going to leave after this year for that reason and the fact that the recital is 4 hours long. There are many studios to choose from in our small city (Madison WI). We don't need to put up with that kind of nonsense.

Our studio does do this though. It's to the point that I think they are oblivious that it's affecting anyone. The older girls at the studio are on sm and see the posts. The younger ones luckily don't see it first hand. 

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Noel

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Reply with quote  #34 
marnitalane and dancingemu (call me naive (I am) ) but former "studio" did this too and and I could hardly believe how blatant they were. After we pulled DD they temporarily amped up the social media ridiculousness tremendously. Funny thing is that I initially saw the posts and thought "Wow, good job. Those girls are really doing well... good for them and I wonder how this makes the other 100 some odd other kids. Glad it is not our problem any longer."

Funny how the mind works. Several weeks later I viewed the same short clips. DD was now several weeks in to her new studio. It immediately struck me, "Hey... they cut off the video before the skill was over; and that was only 3 turns, I thought it was 4 or 5; and oof I remembered that as really impressive, I see bent knees and hopping feet and flexed feet now" my point absolutely NOT being to speak poorly of the dancers but absolutely is to point out that in the moment, when you are 'reacting' and inevitably having an emotional response you will literally see things that aren't even there. You will remember things that never even happened. Your perception is so strong and so based on emotions that when you have a clear mind you will look back and not believe your eyes.

Anyway... I was friends on SM with the coaches and other moms and it was a mistake at that particular studio. I saw the favoritism. I saw the blatant passive aggressive posts. I saw the effort that went into flaunting get togethers that some were excluded from. I saw the consistent gushing over particular dancers and the crickets over the amazing gains that others were making. Walking away from it while at the studio didn't solve what I already knew and I stayed in connection if only to keep my finger on the pulse of their character, which was helpful when deciding to leave.

So, if you're in a professional trustworthy ethical environment it's probably not a bad idea. And, if you're not... it can help give you a window into the mind of people you are paying to impact your child for hours and hours a week. I'm glad I saw into that window because it helped me decide sooner rather than later to get out.
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hsealover

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Reply with quote  #35 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marnitalane
Dancingemu - Great point about putting on a fake front for other studios. Our SO does that and it's silly. Everyone knows our studio is only good at hip hop (and elaborate, over-the-top crazy themes) and the other studios could care less what we're doing. Yet, SO posts pictures of our kids doing ballet and looking all serious in contemporary.


That fits DD's old studio to a t!
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Inspiredby3

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Reply with quote  #36 
Noel... we're at a studio like that now and getting ready to leave. The favoritism and how they casted dances and placed in levels really raised a lot of flags. But now dd's best friend on team turned on her when she became friends with one of the favorites and turned all of dd's friends in dance classes against her. She's having all of them over her house every weekend and her mom is posting pics on FB of all the fun they're having. Sometimes I wonder if some people just don't have hearts at all... I have teachers and studio friended but won't do that at next studio. I just want them to teach my girls, don't need to know what is going on in their private life...
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Noel

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Reply with quote  #37 
I'm sorry to hear that inspiredby3. Adults know better, and some absolutely do behave this way on purpose. So very little really changes from middle school. There are still Queen Bees and all the rest in between, just some are more in your face and some (with age) keep themselves largely concealed, but the behavior is the same.
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threedancingdaughters

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Reply with quote  #38 
Our studio has a fairly active Facebook page. It's mostly parents sharing photos from comps and events, with occasional dream duffel for sale, or posting of items lost/found at shows or comps. Haven't really noticed much negative at all on our social media. I'm not saying everything is rosy and perfect all the time, but our studio really emphasizes being a dance family and being supportive of others as a big priority.
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amandafarris03

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Reply with quote  #39 
I'm friends with almost all of the DT's at dd13's studio. I've been friends with SO since we started. 
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Noel

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Reply with quote  #40 
Quote:
Originally Posted by threedancingdaughters
Our studio has a fairly active Facebook page. It's mostly parents sharing photos from comps and events, with occasional dream duffel for sale, or posting of items lost/found at shows or comps. Haven't really noticed much negative at all on our social media. I'm not saying everything is rosy and perfect all the time, but our studio really emphasizes being a dance family and being supportive of others as a big priority.


Funny you say that, former "studio" talked that talk, but in reality absolutely did not walk that walk when it came to social media. It's not so much that they went out of their way to exclude certain people, but the owner and coaches went out of their way to promote the same girls over and over.
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threedancingdaughters

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Reply with quote  #41 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Noel


Funny you say that, former "studio" talked that talk, but in reality absolutely did not walk that walk when it came to social media. It's not so much that they went out of their way to exclude certain people, but the owner and coaches went out of their way to promote the same girls over and over.


As far as photos and that, they seem to try to show photos of all the teams. Doesn't always end up exactly equal, but a variety of comp teams and recreational students of all ages are on the Facebook page.
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Noel

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Reply with quote  #42 
threedancingdaughters, that sounds healthy. Literally one dancer would get a new skill and coaches would gush and stop practice and video and announce, "this is SO going on my instagram" then pose for congratulatory selfies... a week or two another dancer, similar age, would get same skill and crickets. Many many times.
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threedancingdaughters

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Reply with quote  #43 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Noel
threedancingdaughters, that sounds healthy. Literally one dancer would get a new skill and coaches would gush and stop practice and video and announce, "this is SO going on my instagram" then pose for congratulatory selfies... a week or two another dancer, similar age, would get same skill and crickets. Many many times.

That's too bad, that'd be tough!
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Noel

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Reply with quote  #44 
threedancingdaughters, it was hard to watch, made me so sad
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3mama5678

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Reply with quote  #45 
Yes I have SO and all of my kids DTs on Facebook. I see those posts complaining about dance parents etc. They're just memes. It's their job. Nurses are allowed to post things complaining, school teachers about how much they drink, etc. It's just social media. Lol
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andrealeigh83

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Reply with quote  #46 
I'm friends on FB with my DD 2 studio owners as well as on instagram. I'm also friends with a few of the instructors as well. I've never been offended by anything the SO has posted and vice versa. I was deleted by one of the instructors, I'm guessing difference in politics but I'm not sure. You can definitely tell who tries to kiss up to the SO's by what is said on FB. It's kinda funny. I will say I do like my daughter's SO and teachers though!
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heidi459

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Reply with quote  #47 
I only do fb so as far as that platform is concerned, I don't and I wouldn't.  My approach once was, and now again is, pretty simple... never become/remain fb friends with anyone I fear may not be willing/able to fully respect or handle (in good humor) the real me, nor anyone who I can't respect/might not wish to handle (for whatever reason).  I don't want to make people in my circle uncomfortable but at the same time I refuse to walk on eggshells.  So it only makes sense to choose that circle carefully.  

And fwiw.... in my opinion there's just way too much complaining about fb/instagram/twitter out there.  We're the ones responsible for creating our circle... we have 100% control.  Don't play pretend and remain connected to people whose "company" you don't truly respect and enjoy.  The whole social media thing has really brought 'fakery' to a whole new level.  One of my biggest pet peeves.     

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