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PointeMom

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Reply with quote  #1 
I’m so stressed right now and need to vent! Bare with me and thanks for listening. So there’s always an optional competition for dancers to get their solos on stage early. Maybe duos too. Now it’s for solos, duos, trios and specialty groups. Optional by definition means voluntary; having a choice. My DD usually does the optional comp. At the beginning of this year we were given a sheet with dates if competitions and conventions. There were two optional comps listed but one said “TBA”. Well, there were rumors floating around that one was coming up but nothing official sent from SO. So next thing you know we get an email saying the optional comp is whatever date and reply to let them know if you’re interested. I didn’t reply because the fees would be due in 9 days and after the holidays and full comp fees due soon. Then I get another email saying they’re really hoping to get 2 small group specialties in and didn’t hear from me. I replied saying we wouldn’t be able to do it. First of all, one Dance isn’t even completed. Why even rush to get it into an “optional” comp? I’m having a hard time understanding why they even put groups in an optional comp? So now my DD will probably be worked out of the choreo for this optional comp. I just feel pressure and guilt over something optional and it’s not right. How is something optional when a group of people need to decide? I’m so sad for my daughter and what might happen because of this. Will they work her out of it or pull the dance altogether? Unnecessary stress. Calvin take me away!!
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mic123

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Posts: 108
Reply with quote  #2 
We have optional comps as well.  It's just to have an additional opportunity to perform.  They are in no way mandatory.  We have only ever brought solos.  We wanted a small group to go last year but one girl didn't want to go so we didn't bring it.

There is no stress or guilt over it.

Are you able to go to the SO and explain your reasoning for not being able to do it?  The fact that it is optional means many people would not budget for it so they should understand.

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PointeMom

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Reply with quote  #3 
I had replied to the email stating that I just couldn’t afford it this time. They only gave us 9 days to pay the fees. It’s not like I knew even a month ago. So frustrating and sad. Their reply was pretty much saying we committed to this and the assumption is that specials would perform in all opportunities. They also threw words back in my face of how I said we would be interested in anything else that comes up. My reply to the special group invites was that any other opportunities that come up would be “considered”. It’s like a junior high cat fight over “you said” now. Never was is written or stated that special groups must perform in every opportunity. I can’t wait for this year to be over so we can move on from this drama.
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mic123

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Posts: 108
Reply with quote  #4 
If it were me, I wouldn't worry about it.  You have no reason to feel guilty or pressured.  It's called optional for a reason.
It doesn't sound like they are holding you to it.  I would go back and let them know (again), that it is unfortunately not in your budget, and if they are set on taking it, they'll have to reblock it without your dancer.  What do the other parents in the group want?
If you really want to go, perhaps they can give you additional time to pay for it.

I would also make sure going into next season that everything is spelled out in writing of what is expected of you.
Our studio doesn't even publish the optional comps because they are strictly optional.  She will ask people if they want to go, but if it's a group, everyone has to agree.

I don't know how approachable your SO is, but ours is very open to discussion.
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Julieg

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Reply with quote  #5 
I'm with you.  I don't see the point in bringing a barely finished probably not that clean dance to an extra competition early on in the season.  Especially when the fees are due so soon after Christmas. It just seems like a waste of time.  If the coach really wants early feedback I'm sure they know someone in their dance community that would take a look for them.  If the piece is doing great go to an optional comp later.  I will say that  I hate when they do the everyone agrees or we don't go thing.  It's frustrating when you have an amazing piece and one family will be the hold out to taking it to more competitions.  I totally understand the financial limitations but it seemed like in our case the hold outs just wanted to ruin it for the other girls.  That's why I like having understudies.
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tappinmom

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Reply with quote  #6 
One year at our second studio one of our comps had just started holding a nationals.  We had half a dozen groups qualify at regionals with a "golden ticket".  The SO wanted to take the whole team and sent out a questionnaire.  it was made clear that if a whole group couldn't go the group wouldn't go.  No one was upset when people said no and we didn't end up attending.  It was a lot of extra money at the last minute with travel 5 hours away for an entire 4 days.  I wouldn't feel guilty about saying no. 
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