Register Calendar Latest Topics
 
 
 


Reply
  Author   Comment   Page 1 of 2      1   2   Next
golightly1118

Novice Member
Registered:
Posts: 8
Reply with quote  #1 
My daughter just turned seven and has been dancing since she was four. She's always enjoyed it, but has been lukewarm about actually working on technique and dance...until a few months ago. It was like a switch flipped, and suddenly she was doing passé turns, plies and cartwheels all over our house. Our studio held open tryouts to form a new mini team, and she begged to try out. Honestly? Not to put down my child, but I didn't think she'd make it (she currently takes a ballet/jazz/tap combo class and an acro class, and wants to drop tap for hip hop next year along with ballet/jazz and acro. So, it's not like she lives at the studio). She made the team, and my husband...was less than thrilled. He sees $$$ flying away, honestly thinks competitive dance is just a scheme to make money, and said if we're willing to pay, of course she's going to get picked. I'm happy for DD, but I already feel like a bad dance mom. We haven't told her she made the team yet, and agreed to not tell her until I get a chance to talk to the studio owner (there was an informational meeting for team parents Friday night, but we couldn't make it, as we had planned weeks ago to go out of town this weekend). For what it's worth, I've been a stay at home mom since she was born, have a three year old son, and started back to work part-time this school year substitute teaching and am studying to get my certification-hoping to be full time in the next two-three years. I need honest feedback from fellow moms-how did your family handle the change from recreational dance to competition? Schedules, finances, judgement from less than thrilled family members...lay it on me [smile]
0
dancedivasx2

Gold Member
Registered:
Posts: 427
Reply with quote  #2 
Just do the Minimum required. There is no need to keep up with "Jane" and her 10 dances. It is ok to do just 1 or 2. I can not afford 12 dances. Both my girls are company dancers and are only able to do the 2 large groups. They are accepted by their teachers and peers. No judgements.

Dance cost about the same as any sport. Our team for 1 dancer doing 2 dances: $250 a month tuition , $150 a year in shoes , $1,000 in costumes and competition fees. Beacuse of the cost my girls know that we can not take that big vacation every year , birthdays and Christmas are just basic need items. They are okay with it beacuse they love it so much!

WARNIG: It will take away from husband / Dad time and he will feel abandoned unless he is fully on board. If not, you MUST make time for him. It definitely has put a strain on my family.



0
prancer

High Gold Member
Registered:
Posts: 793
Reply with quote  #3 
Your post makes me nervous. I have actually known people who divorced with a primary stressor in the relationship being disagreements over the cost of dance. The cost is significant and if your husband is against her joining the team, then I would address this first between you. He is correct, in most studios if you are willing to pay, she will make the team - especially when it's a new mini team. So don't let flattery overwhelm good judgement. I have also known people who went into significant debt over competitive dance, and I strongly suggest you only spend what you can actually afford using your extra cash.

With that said, my dd loves competition dance and we choose to buy this for her. I would start slow, you can always increase commitments later. Focus on dance training, not random extras. Don't worry about winning as minis or being better than other young dancers on the team. As long as she is getting good training you will be fine. It's hard to leave a team later, so if you are going to make this jump to competition dance, I would check out all the studios in your area and see which is the best fit for you. Try to keep the perspective that she is seven and dance is a fun activity for her. Winning dance comps, getting special parts, etc. are not meaningful beyond a Facebook post. Learning to dance, focus, be part of a team, exercise, and perform are great experiences. Competitive dance can be a very enjoyable experience, but my biggest recommendation is to keep your perspective - remember that competitive dance is a child's extracurricular activity. For most of us it will not be anything more or less than that.
0
theyarg

Platinum Member
Registered:
Posts: 2,179
Reply with quote  #4 
You could wait another year, however there are some positive aspects of their being on a team at a young age:
1. Stage fright: when they are young there is less of it, they love to show off what they can do, and as they get to that age when the nerves typically kick in, they have already been doing more performances than if all they did was recreational.
2. More performance opportunities, builds confidence.
3. Cuteness tends to do well at that age, they aren't going to be judged as harshly on technique.
4. They are more accepting of each other at that age, it is a good opportunity to teach teamwork and accepting that everyone makes mistakes.

You can keep it minimal at this age, but beware, it increases in cost quickly.  And unfortunately at some studios like we were at for our first two, if you are not on the comp team by age 10, they really don't care too much about you.  "Oh, they're just the rec kids," sis the MO by that age, and the training may only be offered only to the comp team with separate comp technique classes.  Look at what the older kids are doing and what classes are available as your DD ages at your studio.  That will tell you where the focus is.  For my DD, it was fun for the first 3 years, then it got nasty competitive, all about who's solos placed higher, who messed up the dance, who should or shouldn't be in their groups because they weren't good enough.  DD started comp at 6.  It was open to anyone who was willing, but she did "invite" us, because I really wasn't sure.  Then the next year she "invited" DD to add a solo, which I had wanted to wait.  By the time she was 12, she was in 7 groups, 2 solos, and a duo.  I probably could have paid for college with all the money I spent over the years.  In the end you have to do what is right for you and your family.  You can always do one year with one or two groups and then stop if it is not for you, but the whole comp world does tend to draw you in with all the glitz and excitement.  (I do still love me a beautifully rhinestoned costume!)
0
Phx115

High Gold Member
Registered:
Posts: 621
Reply with quote  #5 
Even as a mini, with a couple of group dances, there are all kinds of extra expenses and time commitments - especially if it's a studio where comp rules. Luckily, DD's studio doesn't do this kind of thing.

Examples:
1. T- shirts (or hats, gloves, etc.) for each parade, or other community event.
2. Gifts for the big dancer/little dancer.
3. Being okay with purchasing a pair of hot pink combat boots for one dance!
4. Required to be at all community and fundraising events.
5. The extra jewelry that differs with each costume.
6. Photos and/or videos from the comps
7. Having to listen to your DD say that EVERYONE else's mom/dad is buying them an overpriced piece of clothing from each competition/convention - and either caving in or being the bad guy. I admit that at conventions I wait until scholarships are announced. Since it's pretty rare she gets one, I'm happy to surprise her with something she had her eye on if she does get a scholarship.
8. Hotel costs for conventions and/or comps.

Most important - the pressure DD will put on you to do what Suzie is doing: an extra dance, privates, etc. I think many of us wish we said no to that pressure from the beginning.

There are so many more I can't even remember.

Speaking to your husband's concerns - My husband has yet to attend a dance comp. In fact, he still calls them tournaments! Honestly, he wouldn't have the patience to sit through all that. That works just fine for DD and me. He comes to recital, and one performance of her ballet company's production.

However, when she started comp dance, we agreed he would pay for tuition and class dancewear, and I would pay for the extras - comp fees, costumes, etc. It worked out pretty well until this year. Her tuition is about $1,000 per quarter or $4000/yr. This was a pretty big jump and he gives me a check when he feels like it. No, we aren't divorced (but should be - and this stems from issues well before dance came into the picture). So, I work two part-time jobs (one in travel, so that cuts down on convention hotel costs). Still, my husband makes a very good salary and there's no reason why he can't take care of the tuition on time. It creates a lot of stress for me. Honestly, I'm grateful that my 13-yr-old son is happy with a couple of low-cost/free school activities.

I would just say the biggest thing to be aware of is that EVERYTHNG you agree to let her do is going to have a cost - both in time and money.
0
Jacaranda

High Platinum Member
Registered:
Posts: 3,070
Reply with quote  #6 
Let's also consider the positive side of having kids on competitive dance teams. Sure it can be expensive and time consuming, so then why do we all still have our kids in these teams. Because there are also many wonderful benefits -

1. More hours in dance will mean better development of the child's coordination, agility, strength, flexibility, balance, fitness etc. In this activity the kids get all the benefits of studying an art and all the benefits of doing a sport as well

2. Confidence. Getting up on stage and performing for an audience of a regular basis is a wolder ful confidence builder. This is an incredible life skill for them to take into adulthood.

3. It is lots of fun - learning lots of new dances, new costumes, songs, going to comps with your team, travelling with your team, performing on stage etc.

4. In many studios being on the competition team is the secret to accessing the best tuition. They often get to work with the best teachers and choreographers the studio has to offer and are given the most challenging work and more opportunities than those studio kids who are not on the team.

5. Dancers who are on a comp team have more opportunities for goal setting, achievements etc. this in turn helps the, to stick with the activity longer.

6. Spending more time at the dance studio often means less time doing other less desirable activities like watching heaps of TV and spending too much time on electronics. If they continue with dance through their teen years, this makes them less likely to be the bored and unchallenged teenager that end up doing this like drugs, drinking, criminal activities etc.

7. It is an art. Research has shown that while children are pursuing an art, there is the highest amount of stimulation going on in the largest number of parts of the brain, that is seen in any activity. This stumulates cognitive ability and brain growth and development.

8. Dancers tend to do very well at school - serious dance improves concentration, attention span, memory, creativity, listening skills, mental processing speed and the ability to take and incorporate feedback.

9. Team work - Competitive dance is one of the most amazing ways to develop team work. Everyone has an important roll to play in the team and they can clearly see how their Committment or lack of it impacts their team mates.

10. Passion. I personally think this is the most significant benefit of competition dance. Those who do it often develop an incredible passion. This motivates them to work hard, make corrections, apply themselves to practice outside the studio and set goals. When they see this hard work and dedication pay off they learn one of the most important life skills at all. Kids who are not passionate about anything don't get the chance to learn this.

11. Transferable to any sport. Doing serious dance as a youngster opens so many doors as they get older. Activities like dance that require children to coorindate an incredibly complex nu,ber of different types of movements together. If she wants to do any other sport when she gets older she will already have the foundation that will allow her to excell.

12. Bonding. Competitive dance is often a wonderful bonding experience with mothers and their daughters. You work together to prepare her for stage, travel to competitions together, spend the day together at events and share this wonderful experience with each other.
.

0
LeapYear0208

Avatar / Picture

Silver Member
Registered:
Posts: 90
Reply with quote  #7 
My DD7 went from being on a community performance team at her old studio to being on the mini team at her new studio this current season. My husband was/is on board because he knows how much love DD has for the sport and how much it has helped her through some really tough things including his heart attack and all that has come with that. He has made it to one competition this season, that was enough for him, if the other ones were closer I know he would come at least for her solo. Usually he stays home with our older daughter (who does coding, cross fit and acting). 

We are told at the beginning of the season what the fee outline looks like. Our SO puts the higher end of the possibility on the outline so we are happy when it is less. Just doing our 3 group dances, the cost was very reasonable to me, except two of our costumes which we know how much they cost and the price was 2x (and we still had to stone them)....annoying... regardless, I was prepared for the costs. 

We chose to let DD do a solo this season, we knew it would do a lot for her confidence and it has. I am happy with our decision. Because we chose to let her do a solo we have extra fees each comp and pay for extra privates, but it is worth it to see her succeed (not win, but succeed on her own). 

There are a lot of extra competition expenses, hotels, convention fees, items that they sell, videos and pictures. But if you go in with a budget and have a conversation with your dancer, it is all good. We go in with DD knowing I will look at the shopping and give her a budget. I won't buy something just because someone else got it, ect. You pretty much NEED a hotel at competitions where you also have a convention, unless you are within 10-15 min of the venue. It is a really long weekend, the extra expense is worth it, especially if it is an in hotel convention.
0
golightly1118

Novice Member
Registered:
Posts: 8
Reply with quote  #8 
Thank you for all the replies! My husband has agreed to a one year trial to see if this works for our family. Finances aren't a huge issue-we're very blessed in that my parents pay her dance tuition and we only cover extra fees, which my job should more than cover (plus we paid off my car in December, so that frees up more cash). A big part of this is that he hates seeing his little girl growing up and thinks she's too young to be competing in anything-however, I was quick to remind him I did competitive swimming when I was younger than her, and it was a valuable experience for me. I honestly think the good will outweigh the bad with this.
0
Dancingemu

Silver Member
Registered:
Posts: 68
Reply with quote  #9 

I had to reread the OP because it sounds exactly like where we were when DD tried out for the comp team. They took everyone who "tried out." The cost is more the time is only 30mins more a week for the most part. What gets you are all the extra costs though as already mentioned. We did the parades as just a rec member, but it wasn't required. The same with the extra shirts, costume add-ons, and for us paying for photos becomes mandatory if you are on the comp team. That said, what Jacaranda listed is very true. We make the team work because we see the benefits out weighing the costs. We make every effort to get our girl to even the optional events for the bonding and exposure to new things. 

Her dance friends understand her schedule. She also gets to see them more often than school friends. They have more in common and more joint experiences to bond more over. The dance friends, and more their parents, also value school more than their school friends (many whose parents just use school as a free baby sitter [frown] )

0
aek1969

Silver Member
Registered:
Posts: 77
Reply with quote  #10 
Hi - you're all probably wondering "who the heck is she?  where did she come from?" and I don't blame you.  I've been a member, though not a particularly active one, a long time and recently started reading the boards again, just for fun.  My dancer is in her senior year, and I guess I'm a little nostalgic.  [smile]

I felt led to speak to this poster's questions a bit, so here goes:

You've gotten great advice from the other mamas here.  And you and your husband have made a decision together on how to proceed for now, and that's fantastic. I just want to address one more cost:  family.  
I made some major mistakes in that department and I only mean to caution you to be very careful.  In our family, our dancer is the youngest with two older brothers.  I often spent a great deal of time at the studio when she was young (she was in first grade when she started competing), assuming that my all was well at home.  I should have been at home much more and I regret that.  My sons made a lot of sacrifices - they didn't have me as much as they should have.  They didn't get some extras they would have normally because their sister's costs were major. They also missed out on having their sister around to play with and pick on like normal brothers do to their sisters.  I feel sure they harbored at least a little resentment toward her for a while.  We had a rough few years (nothing serious, thankfully) but are in a good place now where everyone is concerned.  Both boys are in college, working toward their degrees (though taking the long road, lol) and their sister will begin college in the fall, majoring in dance with aspirations to teach.  
To summarize this lengthy post - don't lose sight of family when dance becomes more time-, money-, and energy-consuming.  Do better than I did and you'll be great.  It can be an absolutely wonderful experience for the most part, and definitely worth it IF everyone involved is happy and having fun!  Good luck!

0
Noel

Avatar / Picture

High Silver Member
Registered:
Posts: 129
Reply with quote  #11 
I did try to read through all of the responses but had to start skimming. In case it hasn't been said, here's my two cents. I would be wary of expectation v. reality considering the studio is creating this as a start up team.

You don't know what you don't know about this until you walk smack into it head first. How well versed in competition is the studio overall? How experienced are the DT and SO in navigating selection of competitions and realistic time lines for preparation? I mention this because I saw what a difference a savvy SO makes wrt the entire experience, and what happens when someone throws themselves into the ring without really knowing the lay of the land. You'll be spending a good bit of money, yours or your parents, and I would suggest you ask yourselves do you want your daughter to be on a competitive team or do you want her to be on THIS competitive dance team. There's a difference. Before committing if it's just competition you're interested in you really owe it to yourself, and your DD, to investigate other local teams and understand the lay of the land in your local community before you commit.

Good luck with your season and I hope it all stays productive and above all else joyful !
0
dave9988

Avatar / Picture

Gold Member
Registered:
Posts: 469
Reply with quote  #12 
Quote:
Originally Posted by golightly1118
Thank you for all the replies! My husband has agreed to a one year trial to see if this works for our family. Finances aren't a huge issue-we're very blessed in that my parents pay her dance tuition and we only cover extra fees, which my job should more than cover (plus we paid off my car in December, so that frees up more cash). A big part of this is that he hates seeing his little girl growing up and thinks she's too young to be competing in anything-however, I was quick to remind him I did competitive swimming when I was younger than her, and it was a valuable experience for me. I honestly think the good will outweigh the bad with this.


Then he should love her leaving the house for competition in full make-up, fake lashes, and booty shorts!
0
amandafarris03

Avatar / Picture

Gold Member
Registered:
Posts: 444
Reply with quote  #13 
we don't dance at a very strict studio.  if we just couldn't afford the 5 dances my dd was invited to dance in - I would tell the SO and we would only do that ones that dd13 was interested in.  she is usually in 3 comp dances a season and we are very comfortable with that money that it costs.  I think this year it was $1700 for everything.  at recital she will add all those dances and will have 11 dances total.  speak with the studio owner.  tell her you are worried it will be very expensive.  worried that you or your dd will get stressed and you would like to try it with one or two dances this year. decide if it was worth it and go from there the next year.  my dd started comp team when she was 5 and did just one small group dance.  the next year she did one group dance and a solo....
0
heidi459

Avatar / Picture

Diamond Member
Registered:
Posts: 5,713
Reply with quote  #14 
Quote:
Originally Posted by aek1969
Hi - you're all probably wondering "who the heck is she?  where did she come from?" and I don't blame you.  I've been a member, though not a particularly active one, a long time and recently started reading the boards again, just for fun.  My dancer is in her senior year, and I guess I'm a little nostalgic.  [smile]

I felt led to speak to this poster's questions a bit, so here goes:

You've gotten great advice from the other mamas here.  And you and your husband have made a decision together on how to proceed for now, and that's fantastic. I just want to address one more cost:  family.  
I made some major mistakes in that department and I only mean to caution you to be very careful.  In our family, our dancer is the youngest with two older brothers.  I often spent a great deal of time at the studio when she was young (she was in first grade when she started competing), assuming that my all was well at home.  I should have been at home much more and I regret that.  My sons made a lot of sacrifices - they didn't have me as much as they should have.  They didn't get some extras they would have normally because their sister's costs were major. They also missed out on having their sister around to play with and pick on like normal brothers do to their sisters.  I feel sure they harbored at least a little resentment toward her for a while.  We had a rough few years (nothing serious, thankfully) but are in a good place now where everyone is concerned.  Both boys are in college, working toward their degrees (though taking the long road, lol) and their sister will begin college in the fall, majoring in dance with aspirations to teach.  
To summarize this lengthy post - don't lose sight of family when dance becomes more time-, money-, and energy-consuming.  Do better than I did and you'll be great.  It can be an absolutely wonderful experience for the most part, and definitely worth it IF everyone involved is happy and having fun!  Good luck!



I can't agree w/this enough.  My dancing dd (now 17) has 3 younger brothers.... I have a husband.... we have a 'family'... that deserves not to be put on the back burner for dd's dance.  So often I read of the sacrifices people make because of the extensive time/financial commitments that can come w/dance comp.  A personal choice, certainly, but something to seriously consider as you contemplate jumping into this.  Will you have to reconsider the types/frequency of family time/vacations for X number of years? Have to perhaps reconsider the types of activities your other child(ren) can participate in due to your dd's schedule?  This activity has a way of taking over, trust me... & the earlier you get involved, the more of not only your dd's life, but also your own/your other children's/your husband's life will potentially be ruled by it.  It sounds like such a fun, innocent little extracurricular, I know.. & it certainly can be... but all too often it seems to become so much more. Just food for thought.     .
0
dmjrm4

Avatar / Picture

High Silver Member
Registered:
Posts: 207
Reply with quote  #15 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jacaranda
Let's also consider the positive side of having kids on competitive dance teams. Sure it can be expensive and time consuming, so then why do we all still have our kids in these teams. Because there are also many wonderful benefits - 1. More hours in dance will mean better development of the child's coordination, agility, strength, flexibility, balance, fitness etc. In this activity the kids get all the benefits of studying an art and all the benefits of doing a sport as well 2. Confidence. Getting up on stage and performing for an audience of a regular basis is a wolder ful confidence builder. This is an incredible life skill for them to take into adulthood. 3. It is lots of fun - learning lots of new dances, new costumes, songs, going to comps with your team, travelling with your team, performing on stage etc. 4. In many studios being on the competition team is the secret to accessing the best tuition. They often get to work with the best teachers and choreographers the studio has to offer and are given the most challenging work and more opportunities than those studio kids who are not on the team. 5. Dancers who are on a comp team have more opportunities for goal setting, achievements etc. this in turn helps the, to stick with the activity longer. 6. Spending more time at the dance studio often means less time doing other less desirable activities like watching heaps of TV and spending too much time on electronics. If they continue with dance through their teen years, this makes them less likely to be the bored and unchallenged teenager that end up doing this like drugs, drinking, criminal activities etc. 7. It is an art. Research has shown that while children are pursuing an art, there is the highest amount of stimulation going on in the largest number of parts of the brain, that is seen in any activity. This stumulates cognitive ability and brain growth and development. 8. Dancers tend to do very well at school - serious dance improves concentration, attention span, memory, creativity, listening skills, mental processing speed and the ability to take and incorporate feedback. 9. Team work - Competitive dance is one of the most amazing ways to develop team work. Everyone has an important roll to play in the team and they can clearly see how their Committment or lack of it impacts their team mates. 10. Passion. I personally think this is the most significant benefit of competition dance. Those who do it often develop an incredible passion. This motivates them to work hard, make corrections, apply themselves to practice outside the studio and set goals. When they see this hard work and dedication pay off they learn one of the most important life skills at all. Kids who are not passionate about anything don't get the chance to learn this. 11. Transferable to any sport. Doing serious dance as a youngster opens so many doors as they get older. Activities like dance that require children to coorindate an incredibly complex nu,ber of different types of movements together. If she wants to do any other sport when she gets older she will already have the foundation that will allow her to excell. 12. Bonding. Competitive dance is often a wonderful bonding experience with mothers and their daughters. You work together to prepare her for stage, travel to competitions together, spend the day together at events and share this wonderful experience with each other. .


Jacaranda - So good!  You should write a book for us!
0
my2miracles

Platinum Member
Registered:
Posts: 1,073
Reply with quote  #16 
Quote:
Originally Posted by oatmella

I think there are lots of ways kids can benefit from dance without having to be on a competition team.  I think it's insane that people are sacrificing their marriages and other kids for competition dance!  A lot of the $$$ stuff about the competition world - having to buy expensive boots for just one dance, having to stay in hotels ... they don't have any true lasting benefits for kids.  

Some of that above list of benefits of competition dance make me lol.  It's not like it's the best or only way moms can bond with their kids - any shared activity is time for bonding, and it doesn't necessarily have to involve the costs of travel, competition/convention fees, etc.  It's not like ballet dancers who don't compete don't get the benefits listed above - and I would argue they develop more internal motivation than those chasing a platinum/gold/whatever.  

A lot of the comp stuff seems wasteful to me and I wouldn't jeopardize the well-being of my family for it. 



While I agree that competition is not the only way to benefit from dance, not everyone who does competition dance is "chasing a platinum/gold/whatever".   My DD does it for the performance opportunities.  There are tons of studios in our area (Literally 5-6 within 10 minutes from my house) so not many performance opportunities except a 1 time a year recital.

I can afford competition dance so we do it.  I am not sacrificing my family or my marriage.  Real life isn't the dance mom's show.
0
heidi459

Avatar / Picture

Diamond Member
Registered:
Posts: 5,713
Reply with quote  #17 
Quote:
Originally Posted by oatmella
I said that in response to the above poster stating that those in comp dance have clearer goals and achievements to work towards - thus will be more likely to continue with dance. I don't think that is necessarily true. My dd does not compete and has multiple (4+) performance opportunities a year. That's quite enough for us! There are quite a lot of studios in our area and I think performance opportunities for each studio varies. Competition dance isn't just about being able to afford it - some extremely wealthy families don't allow their children to be involved as it doesn't fit their priorities. I have never watched dance moms - I'm referring to experiences of members here. Some have said that their families (other children and relationship with their husbands) and finances have suffered/been sacrificed for comp dance.


When you have an activity that can require you to play taxi for hours on end 4, 5, 6X a week... an activity that can hold you/your family hostage due to mandatory weekend rehearsals & competitions... an activity that can dictate if/where you/your family spends your summer vacations... an activity that can cost upwards of 10K a yr or more...  it most definitely requires sacrifice for many.  Is it worth it?  Maybe.  Maybe not.  But I agree that you can't give all that enough thought going in.  Far too many go in focusing on all the flowerly potential positives w/o really giving thought to the potential negatives. And then, once in, spend far too much time downplaying the negatives because the reality can be too hard to face.  My kid did comp, I know how it goes.  She's now switched to ballet but, believe me, that's no picnic either given the way we've chose to do it to give her the best possible training (as I sit here, an hour from home, outside a studio, in the car, in the rain..where I've been since 10 am & will continue to be for another hour).  I think we've done a pretty good job maintaining some semblance of normalcy for the rest of the family but it hasn't been easy.  And I'd be lying if I said that there haven't been major sacrifices along the way... and that will continue.  These aren't decisions that should be taken lightly imo.  These days... w/our dancer/our other children/our husbands... they don't get a do over.
0
Noel

Avatar / Picture

High Silver Member
Registered:
Posts: 129
Reply with quote  #18 
heidi459 is extremely wise, and this part in particular, "And then, once in, spend far too much time downplaying the negatives because the reality can be too hard to face." in our experience cannot be stressed strongly enough. In the best and healthiest studio environment it can be true, in the most toxic and unhealthy studio environments we found even more true... because it is a part of the fiber that holds that little sub culture bonded together.
0
golightly1118

Novice Member
Registered:
Posts: 8
Reply with quote  #19 
Thanks for the great replies, everyone. We're planning on doing one year, with the mandatory two dances only. After the year, we'll re-evaluate. The main reason my DD wants to do this is for performance opportunities. She absolutely loves being on stage, and not just in dance-she was pumped to be on the front row of the chorus for her school play (never mind that she's tiny and the kids were arranged by height [wink]
0
prancer

High Gold Member
Registered:
Posts: 793
Reply with quote  #20 
I reread Jacaranda's list of positives and now I'm feeling frustrated.  For my dd, she can receive wonderful training in all genres of dance without competing (and some girls at her studio do not compete).  Competing more than doubles the training cost.  So, I looked back at Jacaranda's list for inspiration and decided the benefits of competition over and above serious dance training for my dd adds fun (#3) and perhaps the best opportunities (#4).

This is expensive fun!  I am especially annoyed right now, because I have been booking week long nationals reservations at a location I would never select for a family vacation.  Hmm, if we kept dance training and dropped competition costs and nationals, we could easily take the whole family for a long holiday to Hawaii.  I would rather go to Hawaii than watch dance comps, so would my husband and son, SOOOO now I just have to get my daughter on board! [wink]  If I put competition costs in that perspective, maybe she will go along with it?!  Heck, we could probably bring a friend for each kid (bumping up the fun factor of our island vacation) and still come out ahead.  

Now all that's left is the what exactly would she lose in terms of opportunities? I'm going to really evaluate that when information comes out for next year..



0
joriebelle

Avatar / Picture

Platinum Member
Registered:
Posts: 1,213
Reply with quote  #21 
Yes there are many positives but yes there are negatives.  Competitive dance requires sacrifice, not just by your dancer but by your entire family.  When mine were little I said I would never be one of "those" crazy dance moms, but yep here we are.  Once you get sucked into the dance vortex it's nearly impossible to get out LOL.  Would I have done it differently?  I don't know.  The girls loved it, they benefitted from it greatly.  My youngest wants to become a professional ballerina someday.  It's crazy expensive but she works hard and is fairly good at it so it's made it all worthwhile.  I wouldn't change that for the world.
0
amandafarris03

Avatar / Picture

Gold Member
Registered:
Posts: 444
Reply with quote  #22 
Quote:
Originally Posted by my2miracles


While I agree that competition is not the only way to benefit from dance, not everyone who does competition dance is "chasing a platinum/gold/whatever".   My DD does it for the performance opportunities.  There are tons of studios in our area (Literally 5-6 within 10 minutes from my house) so not many performance opportunities except a 1 time a year recital.

I can afford competition dance so we do it.  I am not sacrificing my family or my marriage.  Real life isn't the dance mom's show.


preach it!!!  it makes me crazy at some of the moms in our group getting catty with other moms that aren't staying and watching other dances of ours perform and leaving after their kid is done for the day. they have families that need them, let them go.  if you want to stay fine, but don't knock them because of their choice!
0
dave9988

Avatar / Picture

Gold Member
Registered:
Posts: 469
Reply with quote  #23 
Quote:
Originally Posted by prancer
I reread Jacaranda's list of positives and now I'm feeling frustrated.  For my dd, she can receive wonderful training in all genres of dance without competing (and some girls at her studio do not compete).  Competing more than doubles the training cost.  So, I looked back at Jacaranda's list for inspiration and decided the benefits of competition over and above serious dance training for my dd adds fun (#3) and perhaps the best opportunities (#4).

This is expensive fun!  I am especially annoyed right now, because I have been booking week long nationals reservations at a location I would never select for a family vacation.  Hmm, if we kept dance training and dropped competition costs and nationals, we could easily take the whole family for a long holiday to Hawaii.  I would rather go to Hawaii than watch dance comps, so would my husband and son, SOOOO now I just have to get my daughter on board! [wink]  If I put competition costs in that perspective, maybe she will go along with it?!  Heck, we could probably bring a friend for each kid (bumping up the fun factor of our island vacation) and still come out ahead.  

Now all that's left is the what exactly would she lose in terms of opportunities? I'm going to really evaluate that when information comes out for next year..


I'm also feeling frustrated.  Must be one of those days. 

Yes, both daughters love dance.  One especially so, with pro aspirations, and she
is learning dedication, time management, and making great friends. But wow, if (and that's a big if) this dream is realized ... the financially payback is absurd.  And yes, I do realize that life is about more than dollars and cents.  But, it's absurd.  Beyond absurd.  And it's not like pre-med and dance are work well as co-majors in college.

Regarding nationals.  We've never been to a "nationals."  But we did go to Hawaii last summer.  And we live on the east coast.

(Full disclosure: we do pay a bunch for summer intensive tuition)
0
prancer

High Gold Member
Registered:
Posts: 793
Reply with quote  #24 
I know it dave9988!  Sorry you share in the frustration.  I never see the value in nationals, so wish we didn't have to go, but it comes with our comp team requirements - at least for now.

On a happier note, some years we get a nice vacation, some years we don't, but I could have one every year without comp dance. We love Maui, it's our favorite.  Which island(s) did you visit?  We are from the midwest, so it's a joy to have the ocean and the tropical weather especially in the winter.  Dd has apparently found an excellent dance school on Maui!  If only my job was there too - I could teach and research from anywhere, but the university does not agree.









0
prancer

High Gold Member
Registered:
Posts: 793
Reply with quote  #25 
Of course dollars and cents are not everything, but we should know what we are spending for dance training and decide the cost is worth it, eyes wide-open.  

If I had saved every year only the money spent on nationals trips ($2000) and instead invested that $2,000 per year into a conservative investment at a 6 percent return from the time my child is 5 years old to 18 years old, I would have $59,811 to hand her as she left home.  

If instead of paying my monthly dance tuition bill of $500, I had put that money into an investment earning 6 percent over those childhood years I could have $117,725 to give her at 18 years old.

If I took all the dance costs into that formula, I'm accumulating over $200,000.  Where I live, she could buy herself a nice home debt free or pay with cash to attend private college if I had saved rather than bought competition dance.

0
Previous Topic | Next Topic
Print
Reply

Quick Navigation: