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NYMomma205

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Reply with quote  #1 
Now I could see a little of a reaction or maybe the SO/Teachers being slightly upset if a comp. member left to go to another competition team. But our kids are little and all of the girls in her class are on their second year dancing if that. Kids drop out for all different reasons. From last year's class, half the class returned and the others didn't. For example, one mom i chat with pretty often and she told me her friend went elsewhere. It was no earth shattering news to me.

So, one of "those" type of moms felt the need to announce to the entire waiting area that "so and so said their daughter was trying a sport this year, but they actually moved to such and such studio." Another mom made a catty remark and another mom had a very annoyed look on her face and made a comment. Do the parents at your kids studio act like this? For me personally, who cares? Maybe the schedule didn't work, maybe she didn't like whatever about the studio and didn't feel like personally telling us all. Do these other moms now see her as a traitor lol? Do the parents of recreational dancers at your kids studio, especially really young ones, act like this?
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melissa745

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Reply with quote  #2 
We don't have a lot of kids leave our studio for another. We are studio that gets kids from other places.

In fact, I don't know a single one that left except a girl that transferred to the ballet school.

I can't imagine we'd spend much time talking about people who left. We are fairly drama free.
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notime

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Reply with quote  #3 
The only time I've ever heard people being discussed for leaving is when they do so between recital and nationals (hence leaving us to rework routines in 3 weeks time). Honestly, I think it is a pretty lousy thing to do so while I don't normally partake, I get the frustration and negative feelings.
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NYMomma205

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Reply with quote  #4 
That a completely get. But in my case, it's 5 year olds just starting out in dance, which is why I don't see it to be made into waiting room drama lol..
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4boysmom

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Reply with quote  #5 
We have had many people leave for various reasons, just quitting dance, moving to a new studio, going ballet only, and various other reasons. I don't think many at our studio really give it must thought. It may be a discussion point at the beginning of the year, but usually fades into insignificance in a week or so.
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EJIDance

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Reply with quote  #6 
People might ask why so and so is not there, but once they receive an answer, that's usually that. We are a non-competitive studio so we do have good dancers leave from time to time to studios with competition teams. 5 year olds usually leave because they preferred gymnastics, soccer, or something else to dance.
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Suzit42

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Reply with quote  #7 
My DD is older so I cant speak for the moms of littles. Even so, I cant imagine more than one conversation going on about it. People are basically self focused. They will have themselves and their own kiddos to chat about.
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notime

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Reply with quote  #8 
Quote:
Originally Posted by NYMomma205
That a completely get. But in my case, it's 5 year olds just starting out in dance, which is why I don't see it to be made into waiting room drama lol..


I do think that is odd. I mean at five they are just starting out, only in a handful of numbers and not likely super committed. Probably just another bad side effect of dance moms gone crazy and taking this just way too seriously.
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tappinmom

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Reply with quote  #9 
Some people thrive on drama - any kind of drama.  When we have had people leave it has come up when September classes start back and then it is over with.  Whether someone Choses to stay or leave has no impact on me so beyond noticing that they aren't there when classes start we don't comment on it.
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Sidhe14

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Reply with quote  #10 
That seems silly. We are also at a studio that sees more newcomers each year from other studios or nearby towns each year. More so than the amount of dancers that don't return. We came to the studio from another when DD was 4. She didn't return the following year (taking the year off from extracurricular activity). When we returned the next year DD was still in their system when we registered. We were treated with the same friendliness and no questions were asked. Most of the talk among other parents revolve around their own children. I haven't heard much negativity (thank goodness) but I usually keep to myself and read a book.
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Bonbonmama

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Reply with quote  #11 
At age 5??? No reaction whatsoever. [smile] at age 15 and previously part of the company, I could see some sort of discussion..! [smile]
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dancedivasx2

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Reply with quote  #12 
It is mentioned in conversation they left . That is it. Nothing bad. I feel we are freindly when we see them at comps. Eventually they end up on the same cheer / dance team in high school . Why cause the drama of gossiping. Some even make their way back. :0) We hold no grudges . At least from what I can see. :0)
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My2DanceLoves

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Reply with quote  #13 
Quote:
Originally Posted by melissa745
We don't have a lot of kids leave our studio for another. We are studio that gets kids from other places. In fact, I don't know a single one that left except a girl that transferred to the ballet school. I can't imagine we'd spend much time talking about people who left. We are fairly drama free.


My experience is similar to this.  And of the few serious dancers that have left after getting miffed about one thing or another , most come back once they see that the dancing or policies aren't always greener on the other side. 
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melissa745

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Reply with quote  #14 
Quote:
Originally Posted by My2DanceLoves
Quote:
Originally Posted by melissa745
We don't have a lot of kids leave our studio for another. We are studio that gets kids from other places. In fact, I don't know a single one that left except a girl that transferred to the ballet school. I can't imagine we'd spend much time talking about people who left. We are fairly drama free.


My experience is similar to this.  And of the few serious dancers that have left after getting miffed about one thing or another , most come back once they see that the dancing or policies aren't always greener on the other side. 


One of our star dancers quit this year to join the cheerleading team at the high school. She's already back at dance. Guess the vision of what cheer is is very different from the reality, though she's so kind and hasn't revealed anything other than, "I came back because I need to dance." [smile]
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mandyx3

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Reply with quote  #15 
We lose a few every year and gain a few every year..... depends who leaves whether or not people talk about it. And I suppose why they leave and if they're switching studios.
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my2miracles

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Reply with quote  #16 

When 1 or 2 leave it's no big deal.  People have their reason.  DD's former studio had a big uproar when 1/2 the comp team (including dd) left this summer. 

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cynmckee

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Reply with quote  #17 
I think people only talk about kids leaving past an original "Hey where's so and so" only if the parents pull the kids in a flame storm.  We are a new studio, but there have only been 3 or 4 of those.  Most of those have been due to not agreeing with placement of levels.  So not much to talk about really.
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dirtchic

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Reply with quote  #18 
This year we lost quite a few teens from the team. 1 wanted to do high school dance team, two wanted to focus on academics, another just wanted to take a year off, and only one left to go to another studio. The reactions about the girl who left for another studio was more of a 'why would she do that?'. There was no animosity just more curiosity. I have since seen her and her Mom around town and we had a nice conversation. Nothing gossipy or dicey about her current or former studio, just more 'how are you liking it' type of questions.

What has struck me about the other girls that have left is how much their social circle has changed. I follow all of them on Instagram and last year all photos were with their dance friends. This year you see very few of them with their dance friends. Honestly it has made me start thinking a lot about DD's dance schedule / friends. It really hit me how dance friends are friends of convenience. I guess the same could be said of school friends as well though. IDK - I guess I could have left it at 'it has made me think' because it really has.
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kmpmom

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Reply with quote  #19 
Quote:
Originally Posted by dirtchic
This year we lost quite a few teens from the team. 1 wanted to do high school dance team, two wanted to focus on academics, another just wanted to take a year off, and only one left to go to another studio. The reactions about the girl who left for another studio was more of a 'why would she do that?'. There was no animosity just more curiosity. I have since seen her and her Mom around town and we had a nice conversation. Nothing gossipy or dicey about her current or former studio, just more 'how are you liking it' type of questions.

What has struck me about the other girls that have left is how much their social circle has changed. I follow all of them on Instagram and last year all photos were with their dance friends. This year you see very few of them with their dance friends. Honestly it has made me start thinking a lot about DD's dance schedule / friends. It really hit me how dance friends are friends of convenience. I guess the same could be said of school friends as well though. IDK - I guess I could have left it at 'it has made me think' because it really has.


I could have written almost this exact same note - same number of kids left the team, for the same myriad reasons.  Only difference is the girl who left to go somewhere else is still in close contact with DD, as I am with her mom.  All the rest is the same too, and has me wondering about what will come next.  I'm not sure dance friends are friends of "convenience" - the same could be said for your neighbourhood friends, or your school or class friends - something brings people together to enable them to become friends. But I do think there is something special that happens between kids who compete together, whether that be in soccer, swimming, dance, etc.  There's a trust and a "I've got your back and I know you've got mine" scenario that doesn't develop between school friends.  Standing in the wings watching your best friend do her last solo is not the same as sitting by a locker while someone writes their final exam. The two beings are not connected by the experience.  What I'd like DD to have is both worlds.  
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prancer

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Reply with quote  #20 
Not many kids leave our studio, but when they do, the whole studio (we aren't very big) seems to have seen it coming.  The people who move are usually those who have been frustrated with their dancer's placements over the long haul.  In all honestly, the parents watch to see if those students get better placements in other companies, and they usually do not (but hopefully they are happier).
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jazzminesun81

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Reply with quote  #21 
At that age, that's strange. There's a lot of movement in the littles because both the parents and the kids are still figuring out what works for them and what they like. The only discussion I every heard at that age was prompted by one of the kids asking where their friend was. At the older ages, it's rare for kids to leave our studio for another studio but it's never really discussed other than the kiddos saying they miss their friend.
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stpierremom

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Reply with quote  #22 
Quote:
Originally Posted by SortaReluctant1
At 5, I think you need to do what's right for you without caring.

My dancer was in high school when we switched. LOTS of drama. I'm told people felt "betrayed" but I cannot figure out why. Nor do I care. We left in the summer-after recital and nationals were done but before auditions for the new year. At that point, my dancer was a "free agent" and the timing was ethical to make another choice. 

Here is the breakdown of the drama:

Most moms ignored it but we heard comments from non-dance families around town "I heard from _______ that Jessie left that studio"
Three parents unfriended me on Facebook. Really.
One mom sent a very nice text.
Four girls out of 20 sent my daughter "good luck" texts. Two had a distinct "good riddance" vibe. I thanked one of the girls moms and got a lovely text in response.
Several girls unfollowed my daughter on instagram and twitter.
No teachers reached out.
The artistic director tried to convince her to stay.

After all that drama, I believe even more with every ounce of my self that this was THE BEST DECISION WE'VE EVER MADE!!!!! 


We switched studios over the summer, and our experience was very similar to yours.  The 2 teens on my dd13's team have not kept in contact with her at all, although she does stay in touch with many of the younger girls she danced with.  I was unfriended by at least 2 of the people from the old studio.  I tried to keep the line of friendship open with the moms I was close with during our 10 years there, but there isn't much reciprocation.  I'm at the point of just letting it go.  Time to move on.

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tendumom

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Reply with quote  #23 

Quote:
Honestly it has made me start thinking a lot about DD's dance schedule / friends. It really hit me how dance friends are friends of convenience. I guess the same could be said of school friends as well though


This is something I talked to dd about when she left her private school in 6th grade. She had been there since the age of 3, essentially her whole life. I warned her about friends of convenience/approximation and that not everyone was going to stay in touch and still include her. Two things were interesting. One is that those that stayed in close contact were those she had only recently become friendly with, not the others who had been there from preschool. And the other was a comment from a classmate who said "but you won't have any friends if you homeschool!" That was funny because most of dd's closest friends were people she met through dance and theater classes, not her classmates. Apparently some of these kids only had friends from school. 

She learned the fickle nature of some of her dance friends when she basically upset the hierarchy by suddenly getting the main lead role instead of a corps or demi-soloist type part. Still, some of the friends from dance are her closest friends, especially those she met at SI programs. 

I did wonder if anyone asked what happened to dd when she left. I ran into the studio manager one day and she even asked me if dd was still dancing, which was an odd question from anyone that ever knew her. LOL. But, it is part of the Koolaid that a certain studio is the only worthwhile studio. 

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SortaReluctant1

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Reply with quote  #24 
But, it is part of the Koolaid that a certain studio is the only worthwhile studio. 

Hahaha...that was true for us! It took years for my dd to see that she could be trained elsewhere.
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2dornot2d

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Reply with quote  #25 
Every year a few people switch to different studios. Ballet studios, more competitive studios, less competitive studios… but we see them at the conventions and competitions. My DDs still follow "former" team friends on social media and they all stay in touch. No hard feelings other than "we miss you." I stay in touch with some former team DMs and teachers. I've had one mom whose daughter tried DD's current team together and made a lower level team. When they made the decision to go to a different comp studio, her kid stopped responding to my DD's texts. I don't think it's the kid because she got very excited at conventions to see my DD and tried to stay next to her (and lots of talking during class lol)

One girl who left for ballet studio stopped by last week and said hi to everyone. Nobody is upset when people choose not to come back. Surprised a little but that would be it. Parents in our studio usually don't talk about those who left… we just go on with our dance life. It could be one of us next year anyway… 
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