High Gold Member
Registered: 1402459141 Posts: 576
Reply with quote #1
My Dd14 has a possible five competitions this year, plus a run though show and 4 recitals.
I have seen her every single time she's been on stage. With the exception of my once a year, one recital volunteer back stage, where I still catch her from the wings. I think because it started as a slow boil. One recital, one comp to this. And I am feeling overwhelmed I think. I booked the time from work. (Comps are 4-5 days long) so essentially, I took off just over a month this spring. I feel bad because only only one person can be off at a time. There's one week I have that someone else wants off. They're pretty open on lunches, so I was thinking I could give it up for her and take my lunch when dd has a solo, and skip the groups. But I think I'm some what panicking, I've never done that before. I've missed my sons hockey games for dance, but I think it feels different because the games are 2 hours and I get texts play by play of how it's going from whoever took him.
Do you watch every single time they are on stage?
High Bronze Member
Registered: 1472697858 Posts: 42
Reply with quote #2
I haven't missed a dance show or comp yet since DD8 joined comp last year, but I will miss a dance show this weekend and I'm nervous about it! Mostly sad for myself, because I love watching her dance and don't want to miss out, and nervous about arranging to get her hair and makeup done! (I'm OCD about her hair/makeup, lol). I work every third weekend and somehow lucked out with comps being all on weekends I have off, but this one show didn't work for swapping weekends at work
Also sad because I just bought a new camera lens and was excited to try it out at the show, since they allow video and non-flash (dance show at a local high school).
High Platinum Member
Registered: 1266718806 Posts: 3,482
Reply with quote #3
I have been very good about catching DD's numbers over the years. As she is the youngest of four children, there were times when I felt my presence was needed elsewhere when it was something really big or especially important in one of my son's lives that conflicted with her dancing. But for the most part, I have watched 90% of her dances.
One year, I had surgery and missed a competition completely as I was still in the hospital (thank the Lord for great dance friends)! DD will be traveling to nationals with her college dance team later this month and sadly, I am not going to watch her. My mother is extremely ill and I just don't feel that I should be going away right now. I may change my mind and fly down for a day or two once I have a firm schedule, but as of right now I'm not going and I do feel terrible about that even though she fully understands.
Registered: 1457385957 Posts: 1,307
Reply with quote #4
I have 5 kids, and at one point my 4 daughters were spread between 3 studios so unfortunately it's happened where I've had to miss one of their events. It doesn't happen often though, and on a day that's double booked my husband and I will split where we go so that at least someone from the family is there.
Registered: 1247159640 Posts: 1,889
Reply with quote #5
I missed one competition (solo only) in person, but it was live streamed, so I watched it on-line. She is a Sr this year, and I refuse to miss any performance whether studio or school dance team!
Registered: 1394807833 Posts: 1,122
Reply with quote #6
I haven't yet but I never say never. We're lucky that ours are on the weekends for the most part and I don't work weekends usually. I think it would be hard for me to miss but you have to do what you have to do. It's great that you have the option of watching during your lunch.
High Silver Member
Registered: 1441157726 Posts: 180
Reply with quote #7
I've missed watching her dozens of times, but it is a little different. She's a ballet dancer and has been in the Nutcracker for 5 years now - anywhere from 6 - 18 shows per year and there's no way I can watch them all (not that many volunteer opportunities, tickets are pricey and I have another kid that likes to see me - 5 or 6 shows in a weekend is taxing).
High Platinum Member
Registered: 1214478534 Posts: 3,090
Reply with quote #8
I do miss watching the girls dance at times because DD2 is a gymnast and of course we have clashes. Sometimes the dance comps and the gymnastics comps are at the same time and DH goes to one and I go to one. Usually I do the dance comps and DH does the gym comps because men are not allowed in the dressing rooms, but we don't want the kids to feel we don't have an interest in their activities so we do switch from time to time.
High Platinum Member
Registered: 1298213712 Posts: 4,023
Reply with quote #9
I have missed a handful of performances, but not many. Dd is an only child so it's not like we have to spread ourselves thin, but I do have to work. I work nights and weekends. I can fairly easily pre-plan to not be working, but the last minute type performances were the sort of the thing that I generally missed. Her last 2 years were at a school that did 2 full weeks of Nut performances. I did miss some of those, but it worked out that I never missed her turn in a lead role. That was just plain luck!
Today, I miss most of her performances. She lives and dances a 12 hour drive away. Dh and I go out there once in a while to see major performances.
Double Diamond Member
Registered: 1184694329 Posts: 13,177
Reply with quote #10
I missed DS once when he was 7 years old. I got terribly sick the night before the comp and had to get my parents up at 4 AM to take him. He didn't mind but I was devastated. Other than that one time I have been there everytime he hit the stage for anything.
High Platinum Member
Registered: 1239676754 Posts: 3,691
Reply with quote #11
I missed a few dances this past year, when she was an 8th grader. She started competing in kindergarten. It was hard, but since my part-time job paid for dance, and I couldn't get the day off, I had to miss seeing a few dances. She texted me updates after each dance, letting me know how it went, and I got there when I could.
My dancer is the oldest of 4, so we are seeing scheduling conflicts as they get older, especially since my 2nd daughter is a competitive gymnast. I just make sure that they know how much I would rather be with them than at work, and they understand.
Registered: 1283323252 Posts: 1,478
Reply with quote #12
I missed my dd competing her solo once when she was 8. It conflicted with my ds's 1st grade Mother's Day Tea. I couldn't really send anyone in my place to the Mother's Day Tea, and knew ds would be sad if I wasn't there. DD is 15 now, and that's the only time I've missed her in competition. I don't watch every performance though. Typically for studio recitals and Nutcracker, I watch one from the audience and work backstage for the rest. Now that she is on her high school dance team, I do the same for those shows. A few times a year, her high school dance team gets asked to perform at an event or at another school's performance. Usually in these situations, dd is only performing one dance and I mostly don't watch these. For example, earlier this school year, she performed at a charity event for her school's fine arts programs. Tickets were $150 per person. I did not attend that.
High Gold Member
Registered: 1399769400 Posts: 526
Reply with quote #13
I haven't missed a comp, but we only do one or two a year. If there's more than one recital, I do not feel compelled to attend them all. And as others have said, for professional shows like Nutcracker I'll attend a couple/few shows during the run, but not all.
The performances are fun, and yes I'm filled with pride when I see my dancers perform ... but I also enjoy the process. Helping with food prep, giving my DD and friends a lift to rehearsal, helping out backstage, a last minute run for more lip gloss, all that goes into making a performance successful (shhh, don't tell my wife!). But the truth is that without all that support, the dancers don't excel. Regardless of whether your butt is in the seat every time the lights are on. And whether they always admit it or not, I'm pretty sure they can feel - and are thankful for - that work.
Registered: 1401291531 Posts: 432
Reply with quote #14
Originally Posted by
dave9988 The performances are fun, and yes I'm filled with pride when I see my dancers perform ... but I also enjoy the process. Helping with food prep, giving my DD and friends a lift to rehearsal, helping out backstage, a last minute run for more lip gloss, all that goes into making a performance successful (shhh, don't tell my wife!). But the truth is that without all that support, the dancers don't excel. Regardless of whether your butt is in the seat every time the lights are on. And whether they always admit it or not, I'm pretty sure they can feel - and are thankful for - that work. With 2 DDs on 2 different teams and different level/circuit, There's always conflict every year. There have been times when my husband was out of country and I needed a clone of myself. I always end up being with the younger one who needs my help in the dressing room. Best I could do is to get everything perfectly ready and arranged for my DD13 so she can have a less stressful event. Just like dave9988 says, they appreciate me doing & preparing all the things during the whole process. Missing one competition day out of 5-10 days (per kid) per year, I'm the one who's more upset than my kids.
Registered: 1406223536 Posts: 1,358
Reply with quote #15
I have missed a fair number. I'm a tax accountant so sometimes my work makes it so I can't get there if there are afternoon or early evening performances. I remember trying so hard to get there quite a few years back and traffic was bad, so I only got there in time for awards. I ran in and there she was on stage winning something. I start shouting to those in the back of the theater....what's that for? What are they doing up there? I must have looks like a lunatic. I think it was the Dance Down at Spotlight...an impromptu improv thingy.
Registered: 1212174184 Posts: 1,709
Reply with quote #16
I don't think I missed any competitions, except for when she competed in Berlin in the Tanzolymp Ballet Competition when she was 16. I couldn't afford for us both to go, so she went with her coaches and a couple of parents. That is one time I really regret.
Now I rarely see her because she is dancing with a professional ballet company 1500 miles away. I travel whenever I can, but have a job that keeps me pretty busy. I haven't missed a Nutcracker ever yet, though.
High Gold Member
Registered: 1403814317 Posts: 919
Reply with quote #17
Yes, I have missed a few. DD started competing at age 13 (so old enough to be totally OK with going with a friend and her family to a competition) and I have another, younger, daughter who is a higher level competitive gymnast. All their competitions are minimum 2hr drive, most 4hrs. Seasons run at the same time, so there have been conflicts. I have sent either girl with another family at times. It stinks, I would love to be there for all of it but it simply isn't always possible. I will miss my dancers (now 15) first two competitions this year because of gymnastics (big, out of state meets that I cannot send a 12yo alone to). For day trips (2-3hr drives with good start times) we can divide and conquer so DH can take the gymnast to a meet sometimes, but that happens perhaps once in a season.
I love when the competitions I miss have live feed!!!
Registered: 1235479981 Posts: 1,293
Reply with quote #18
I haven't missed any... but, being a single mom, I'm the only one that could ever take her anyway. Even when she was in the Nutcracker doing multiple performances... if I wasn't in the audience I was volunteering backstage, so I'd watch her from the wings. Although I just found out that there was a student run performance at her school at the beginning of the semester that she performed in... I missed that, but I didn't even know about it until the other day, so I don't know if that counts. lol
Registered: 1362422620 Posts: 1,572
Reply with quote #19
During DD17s first year competing, I missed a competition because of my niece's wedding shower. DD only competed one dance that year. I bet she doesn't even remember that. At NUVO, DDs production performed in the final show. The ballroom was literally so crowded, I could not get in to watch. Other team moms (who were in the dressing room helping) and I got to listen out in the lobby. Still grumpy about that. I have been lucky enough to have been at every other comp to see every dance. Have I occasionally had to run in the theater when I heard the music start? Guilty. But as DD is older and doesn't want me in the dressing room and I am over studio gossip at the buffet table, I prefer to sit in the theater and watch dances. This is DDs last year, sniffles, I don't want to miss a thing.
Registered: 1365519825 Posts: 2,097
Reply with quote #20
Starting with the Holiday Sneak Preview through to the final routine of recital, plus summer nationals the one year we went, I've missed exactly 1 routine in DD's 12 years as a dancer. I had pneumonia. I'd been at the comp for 4 hours, isolated way off in a corner of the theatre on my own but could no longer control my coughing. Another mom came and said she'd take DD home and I left. I cried my way home but I truly was too sick to be there. Lots of our moms don't even watch their kids, especially at recital. That baffles me.
Registered: 1330024582 Posts: 1,666
Reply with quote #21
I don't miss much because I am usually able to go and I enjoy it, but I think my girls are fine if I'm not there for every single thing. DD18 was in a professional theater show at age 11 with 30+ performances so that got me out of the 'must watch every time' mode - no way we could afford that much time or money, although I probably saw her 5 times in that show.
A couple of years ago we were juggling younger DD's soccer and a comp weekend and were racing up to the comp to see my older DD do her solo, but got there just after she did it. She didn't mind and was really happy with her performance, and I did get to see the video eventually. This year DH and I have planned to go to a weekend event that conflicts with the first full team comp of the season. I may regret that choice but we're going to do it - I'll see her dance at 4 other comps and recitals.
Registered: 1341857184 Posts: 1,476
Reply with quote #22
Yep. I have 3 kids in three different activities. Two years ago I watched my daughter's solos one Saturday morning, drove an hour and a half home to attend something for my youngest (missing some of my daughter's groups), then drove an hour and a half back to catch my daughter's last dance of the day. That same day, another mom also drove home to see her senior off to prom and then drove back to the comp to catch her younger daughter after. It happens all the time to those of us with multiple kids and other obligations. The things we do for our kids!
Registered: 1388521820 Posts: 1,374
Reply with quote #23
I just missed one performance of DD21's first community theater show last summer (out of 6 shows).
That's all I've ever missed. I saw every one of DD15's plays, dance recitals and comps.
High Gold Member
Registered: 1342486767 Posts: 757
Reply with quote #24
I would love to be there for everything, but because of my work, I do miss things. In my area, comps run all through the week, during the school day and into the evening. I'm a teacher, so I can't "book out of the office" or change my schedule at all. If DD's dances land in the middle of a school day, I can't be there. I hate it. I really wish our comps ran weekends only like the comps in the US seem to do.