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dncemom01

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Reply with quote  #1 
Is anyone else missing the post written about leaving her daughters company because she didn’t get a solo?? It’s gone for me this morning.
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tiptoemom

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Reply with quote  #2 
yep...gone!
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heidi459

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Reply with quote  #3 
It was there when I got up... I read the most recent reply which was unnecessarily harsh and uncalled for (and it's got to be pretty in your face for me to say that... this one wasn't just a matter of interpretation).

eta:  and fwiw the situation was not just a matter of her dd not getting a solo.  I know some seemed to interpret as such but she tried many times to clarify the issues.  The not getting a solo was just a small piece of the puzzle... just an example of what she saw as a more concerning issue.
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dncemom01

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Quote:
Originally Posted by heidi459
It was there when I got up... I read the most recent reply which was unnecessarily harsh and uncalled for (and it's got to be pretty in your face for me to say that... this one wasn't just a matter of interpretation).

eta:  and fwiw the situation was not just a matter of her dd not getting a solo.  I know some seemed to interpret as such but she tried many times to clarify the issues.  The not getting a solo was just a small piece of the puzzle... just an example of what she saw as a more concerning issue.


I was one of the ones who felt it was more about her daughter not getting a solo or even a duo and it was probably my response you felt was too harsh. She did try to clarify but she kept coming back to but they can’t afford it. I suggested she ask herself if her daughter was happy, if she felt she was getting good training and if she was growing as a dancer as ways to judge if she was in the right place and to not worry about others did and didn’t get.
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heidi459

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Quote:
Originally Posted by dncemom01
I was one of the ones who felt it was more about her daughter not getting a solo or even a duo and it was probably my response you felt was too harsh. She did try to clarify but she kept coming back to but they can’t afford it. I suggested she ask herself if her daughter was happy, if she felt she was getting good training and if she was growing as a dancer as ways to judge if she was in the right place and to not worry about others did and didn’t get.


Honestly, I don't remember who it was.  I didn't take note.  And I wasn't trying to passively aggressively call anyone out.  Just giving a possible reason for the deletion.  Personally, I thought she handled the criticism throughout that thread very well.  I would not have been nearly as patient... especially if the assumptions people were making were untrue (as I suspected they were).
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dave9988

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Reply with quote  #6 
I felt like she hadn't really thought through her emotions, because it seemed like a few things were mixed together.  There was the disappointment of her daughter not getting a solo, but also some resentment that a fee was waived for one (apparently) struggling family, but not for another.  Meanwhile, she could pay but wasn't getting the "extras." 

Thing is, placements are not always purely about money.

Sometimes that's OK, sometimes not, but at least in part I'm glad that solos don't automatically go to those waiving the largest wad of cash.
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heidi459

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Reply with quote  #7 
She may have been in the process of working through her feelings... trying to understand herself what she felt and why she felt that way. Sometimes, after talking/thinking things through for awhile, you find your initial assessment was wrong. And sometimes all that reflection just strengthens your initial opinion. Some of those replies though? They were brutal. Way too many assumptions if you ask me.
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MimisMom

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Reply with quote  #8 
I don’t understand why it’s such a big deal that she deleted her post. She got plenty of answers.....some nicer than others. Perhaps she felt that enough was said and there was no need to go on and on about it. Just my 2 cents.
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my2miracles

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Reply with quote  #9 
I didn't have a chance to respond because I was trying to formulate my response and then got sick.  However, I did understand and could relate to some of what she was saying.  While no one wants to see a talented child be limited due to there family's financial circumstances, it does get frustrating when you are paying your bills (sometimes struggling or at the very least sacrificing other things) and others are not being held to the same standards.  Solos are expensive and if I couldn't afford them, my dd wouldn't be doing them.  For the record, DD did her 1st solo last year at age 14.  They are definitely not a necessity.

At DD's previous studio, there were 2 families like that.  Both girls had a ton of potential no question.  1 family was close friends with SO while the other family was a single parent.  The single parent  I did struggle with a little because while she was complaining to anyone and everyone who would listen how poor she was, yet her daughter showed up each week with different expensive dance wear and had several pair of UGGS.  One of the moms I was friendly with helped with the studio paperwork and billing.  While this was very unethical, she told me that both families were waaaayyy behind on their payments.  All of this while they were raising tuition prices for the people who were paying.  It's a bit hard to swallow.

In the end, the studio went under and I saw SO filed for bankruptcy.  Now her daughters who were teacher there opened their own studio.  We'll see how long that one will last.  There was a mass exodus right after we left because they raised their prices super high.
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5678StarMom

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Reply with quote  #10 
Quote:
Originally Posted by MimisMom
I don’t understand why it’s such a big deal that she deleted her post. She got plenty of answers.....some nicer than others. Perhaps she felt that enough was said and there was no need to go on and on about it. Just my 2 cents.


I wasn't specifically involved in this thread, but I have taken the time and effort to respond to threads that have been deleted before, and it's frustrating. Why not leave all that knowledge and conversation up for others to read and learn from in the future? In a month when another mom comes in with a similar situation or question, they may have been able to read that, maybe add further questions to the existing thread, and we wouldn't all have to start from scratch.

It makes for weary posters when we see the same 5 questions every month for years and years.
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5678StarMom

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Reply with quote  #11 
Another thread gone! The one about splits.
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prancer

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Reply with quote  #12 
I was pretty sure the splits thread was off target. I thought the poster might have been a young kid, so I tried to give her a little direction for safety. Others must have felt similarly because the responses were pretty gentle
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1tinydancer

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Reply with quote  #13 
Quote:
Originally Posted by prancer
I was pretty sure the splits thread was off target. I thought the poster might have been a young kid, so I tried to give her a little direction for safety. Others must have felt similarly because the responses were pretty gentle
 

My spidey senses were tingling all over that one. I didn't think it was a young kid at all. I don't even believe their claim that they were 18.
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dave9988

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Reply with quote  #14 
Quote:
Originally Posted by 1tinydancer
 

My spidey senses were tingling all over that one. I didn't think it was a young kid at all. I don't even believe their claim that they were 18.


I'm with you.
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dncemom01

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Reply with quote  #15 
Quote:
Originally Posted by 1tinydancer
 

My spidey senses were tingling all over that one. I didn't think it was a young kid at all. I don't even believe their claim that they were 18.


Honestly their writing style seemed very familiar to me. Can’t place which previous poster it reminded me of.
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KB

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Reply with quote  #16 
Did another one just go poof? Basic ballet breakout dancer who improvs?
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prancer

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Reply with quote  #17 
Yip!
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tappinmom

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Reply with quote  #18 
Don't log in all day an I miss all the fun.  [frown]
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ggsmith

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Reply with quote  #19 
Another thread appears and disappears.  Annoying!!
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