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Oreogal

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Reply with quote  #1 
So DD, whose going to be 5 soon and is on her second year of dance, has been complaining quite frequently that she no longer likes dance class. Last year, at age 3-4 she never once said she didn't want to go to class. I've been hearing since around the Feb mark how she don't like the teacher, the teacher is boring, her legs hurts having to stand for so long and the complaining starts for about a good half hour before class. When she gets there, she's fine. There's a closed door, so I don't know how the class is run, the teacher doesn't communicate really with the parents and from what DD tells me, she is running the class where it's all dance from the minute they get in. When the teacher is out, which is quite frequent, the teenage helpers run the class and DD tells me how they let them play at the end and she has "fun." We already had the talk with her and told her there's 5 more classes, costumes are paid for and then come next year it's up to HER, weather she wants to go back.

I've suggested maybe we try another dance school with another teacher and she said yes, though it's me suggesting it. So, how do I know wether dance is just not her "thing" or if this is a case of a teacher running the class too rigid for this age therefore, not making it enjoyable for my dd. I want her to be in something she enjoys, so will not push her to continue next year. Should I even bring up the word "dance" this summer or just ask her what activity she wants to do and let her lead? If she does say dance, should I automatically try a new studio? In all honesty, this studio is just so small, so I know there's a good chance we could have a repeat of this year if we stay.

She's trying out another activity in a few weeks and seems super excited to go, but not the least bit about her dance recital ;(
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joriebelle

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Reply with quote  #2 
Hmm, hard to tell at this age if it's the teacher or dance in general.  I think I might ask her if she wants to try a different class but if she says no, I definitely wouldn't push it. I always said the day they don't enjoy it anymore is the day we stop going.  
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jazzminesun81

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Reply with quote  #3 
I agree it's really hard to tell at that age if it's the teacher or dance in general. She sounds like she'd try to take a different class so it may be the teacher. I would try a dance class with another teacher at the same studio or at a different studio and see if she likes it better. If DD doesn't enjoy something, we just don't sign her up for the next session.
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Psmom

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Reply with quote  #4 
Do something else. She can decide if she wants to try dance again in a year or two
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tinydancers

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Reply with quote  #5 
^ I agree. If she wants to come back to dance in a couple of years she won't be behind.
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tappinmom

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Reply with quote  #6 
She's still a baby.  Let her try something else but tell her if she wants to go back to dance she can so she knows the door isn't closed.  Sometimes kids at that age don't do well with something that is too structured.
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Mom2Girls

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Reply with quote  #7 
Definitely let her try other things. She's so young--she can go back to dance later and not be behind.
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Angel2228

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Reply with quote  #8 
Maybe she can try a different sport next year, and just put her in a sessional next spring. Just a 6-8 week class if she seems she wants to go back. It's a cheaper alternative, and you can see if she's ready for a full year before registration starts for the following year. You can even try it at another studio with another teacher.
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DanceMomLaura

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Reply with quote  #9 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Oreogal
We already had the talk with her and told her there's 5 more classes, costumes are paid for and then come next year it's up to HER, weather she wants to go back.

RE: the bolded.  She's 5.  I wouldn't leave the decision up to her.  Let it go.  Try something else.  Or do nothing.  Schedules are hard at that age.  Be flexible.  Try everything.  She may love soccer, t-ball, gymnastics, etc. 


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My2DanceLoves

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Reply with quote  #10 
Quote:
Originally Posted by DanceMomLaura
Quote:
Originally Posted by Oreogal
We already had the talk with her and told her there's 5 more classes, costumes are paid for and then come next year it's up to HER, weather she wants to go back.

RE: the bolded.  She's 5.  I wouldn't leave the decision up to her.  Let it go.  Try something else.  Or do nothing.  Schedules are hard at that age.  Be flexible.  Try everything.  She may love soccer, t-ball, gymnastics, etc. 







 Totally agree.
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dancermom128

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Reply with quote  #11 
Quote:
Originally Posted by My2DanceLoves





 Totally agree.


Yesss!! She's 5. Do not go down a slippery road of letting a chid that young make decisions. She's clearly not loving it. That's ok. Maybe she'll go back to it. Maybe she won't. Either way it will be ok. I promise.
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melissa745

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Reply with quote  #12 
Quote:
Originally Posted by dancermom128


Yesss!! She's 5. Do not go down a slippery road of letting a chid that young make decisions. She's clearly not loving it. That's ok. Maybe she'll go back to it. Maybe she won't. Either way it will be ok. I promise.


Hasnt the girl already made the decision by not liking it? I fully support listening to our kids when they say they do or do not want to do a particular activity.

This reminds me of when my dancer DD was 4. She BEGGED to play t-ball like her older sister. She went to the first practice and didn't love it. But we told her that she made a commitment and had to finish out the season (which was 6 weeks long, I think).

Second week, they send her out to the outfield where she proceeds to yell at the top of her lungs, "I DONT WANT TO BE HERE!!!!!!! I. Do. Not. Want. To. Be. Here. I DONT WANT TO BE HERE!!!" on repeat...until my husband finally grabbed her off the field and carried her to the car. LOL

That was the end of t-ball for her.
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Oreogal

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Reply with quote  #13 
Quote:
Originally Posted by melissa745


Hasnt the girl already made the decision by not liking it? I fully support listening to our kids when they say they do or do not want to do a particular activity.

This reminds me of when my dancer DD was 4. She BEGGED to play t-ball like her older sister. She went to the first practice and didn't love it. But we told her that she made a commitment and had to finish out the season (which was 6 weeks long, I think).

Second week, they send her out to the outfield where she proceeds to yell at the top of her lungs, "I DONT WANT TO BE HERE!!!!!!! I. Do. Not. Want. To. Be. Here. I DONT WANT TO BE HERE!!!" on repeat...until my husband finally grabbed her off the field and carried her to the car. LOL

That was the end of t-ball for her.

Lol yeah, if she ever started pulling that at the studio, we wouldn't be returning. But like I posted, she's not doing that. The bellyaching is only before we go. I wasn't sure if this was or is just a teacher issue, as there have been quite a few girls who dropped out very early in the year saying they didn't want to go in the class anymore. Dd also always talks about how her teacher from last year gave lollipops and this one doesn't so therefore is icky lol. But, yeah, we'll finish out the year.
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heartmom

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Reply with quote  #14 
Are there other studios nearby? Could you look at what they offer over the summer? I only ask because I know over the summer for our kids that age we have classes that are just 3 days long. They go like a Tues, Wed., Thurs, just one week. They make it fun, usually centered around a Princess or some sort of theme. Just a thought it might be a way for her to try something else- new teacher, etc. for a short time frame to see if she likes it. Also, almost every studio around here offers "camps" too in the summer, usually focused around princesses or Frozen, etc. They do a craft, eat a snack, learn a dance each day, again usually a week or less. Lots of non-dance girls come to the camps. Even if she doesn't dance next year, maybe doing something fun like a camp would help put a new picture of dance/a dance studio/dance teacher in her head than the teacher she clearly doesn't like in case you want to try it again next year, or in a couple years.  
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Bonbonmama

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Reply with quote  #15 
Have her finish the semester and do the recital. When it comes time to sign up again, you could try a trial class at another studio or simply just let it slide this semester and see what happens. I promise, you're not ruining her chances of becoming the next YouTube star by taking her out of dance for a year..! [wink]

Have her try something else: gymnastics, swimming, basketball, whatever. My younger Dd did dance when she was 3 and 4. During the fall semester when she was 4 she did the same things your DD is doing now. I didn't sign her up for the spring semester, but did let her know that if she decided to not go to dance class she wouldn't be doing the recital (and her sister would as she was dancing). She understood, and was fine with it. She ended up taking a random dance class here and there through the years but she never loved it the way her sister did, she only did it because it was "kinda fun" and we were at the studio already so it was take a class or sit there and watch, lol! My DD simply wasn't cut out to be a dancer and that's OK!! She found her thing in gymnastics. It has "won" every time there has been a conflict. [smile] She has never, not once, complained about going.
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carriesmom

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Reply with quote  #16 
I agree with the previous posters.  If you've already paid for recital costumes and the dances have already been choreographed I would have her stay through recital, since you probably only have a little over a month left and it doesn't sound like it's absolutely awful for her, just something that at this point doesn't sound like her thing.  It could be the teacher, or the mix of other kids in the class, or she may just simply not enjoy dance in general at this point in her life.  At five it is so hard to tell.

If it was me I would sign her up for something different over the summer - something without a huge time commitment that you think might be fun for her.  I wouldn't make any decisions now about dance in the fall, you have until September to see how you (and she) are feeling about that.  Even if she takes a few years off from dance and does something else she can easily go back to it if she decides to give it another try later on.

 
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Phx115

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Reply with quote  #17 
Before I read the content of the post, I expected the dancer to be 10, 11 or 12.

My goodness! She's five. Okay, I'm old, but when I was five I basically spent my free time playing in the neighborhood. I might have been in a Dolly Dinkle (I"m serious b/c the name of the school was Dolly Dibley's School of Dance ... classes held in her basement) ballet class.

She clearly doesn't want to dance RIGHT NOW. Like others have said, finish out the year's commitment and don't worry about it. If she wants to dance, she will definitely let you know. In the meantime, if you want your child to have an activity let her try something else.

Nothing personal, but this sounds more like you want her to dance more than she does. Five is pretty young to be starting down that slippery slope.
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lsulindy

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Reply with quote  #18 
The first few years, my daughter would get bored around March/April.  Then when recital time would ramp up, it would be her favorite thing in the world.  When she was in the weekly combo class, she also tried t-ball, tumbling and soccer (at different times) until we dropped everything else b/c she wanted to start taking multiple classes a week.  It may be just the time of year, but I'd also try some other things to see what she loves.
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Oreogal

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Reply with quote  #19 
Quote:
Originally Posted by lsulindy
The first few years, my daughter would get bored around March/April.  Then when recital time would ramp up, it would be her favorite thing in the world.  When she was in the weekly combo class, she also tried t-ball, tumbling and soccer (at different times) until we dropped everything else b/c she wanted to start taking multiple classes a week.  It may be just the time of year, but I'd also try some other things to see what she loves.

Yeah, she uses the word "boring" to pretty much describe everything these days lol. She came out of class this week happy as can be. I really don't know. Strange thing is 2 others girls in the class use sort of the same words to describe the class to their moms, so I kind of get the feeling this particular teacher is just running the class too rigid perhaps for this age group. My daughter is also one of the younger ones in the group. They do tumbling at the end of the class, weren't supposed to originally but guess the teacher saw the kids maybe were getting restless, and she always says how much she likes the tumbling part. We have her signed up for soccer too to try out soon, so def. trying to see what she likes and doesn't like.
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YetAnotherDanceMom

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Reply with quote  #20 
My DD went through the same thing at about the same age. After January, it was like pulling teeth to get her to go to her once-a-week class. Once she was there she was fine, but the moan, groans, tears, etc leading up to that were rather annoying. [smile] I explained that she had to finish the year (costumes paid, classmates relying on her, etc) and then we would figure things out the following year. Coming out of recital, we got in the car and she promptly told me "I don't want to go to dance, but maybe I'll just do the recital". lol 

Since recital marked the end of the year, I decided that we wouldn't discuss dance for the summer and revisit it in the fall. So not a word was said about dance...her leotards, tights, shoes, bag, costumes, etc all were packed away and she just had a regular summer. When the studio sent the class list for the fall, I just lightly mentioned that the schedule was here and there were some new classes that the teacher was interested in her joining (she had moved from Kinderdance to Mini level). We looked over the classes and then I asked if she thought any of them would be fun to do. At that point, her face lit up and she wanted to do all three options. lol 

She hasn't looked back since...she had fun and worked hard, and the next year was invited to the mini comp team. This is her third year in comp but she balances that with core classes and I expect her to be as proud of her non-comp classes as her comp classes. 

Ultimately, I approached dance slowly...we started with one class and then added as she was interested or I felt she was ready. That's still my philosophy. I think I've reached my max in the number of classes I am comfortable with her taking at this point and I think next year we may try to trim the schedule just a bit. I don't want her to lose her love of dance, but she does have other commitments for school and we also want family time outside of the studio. 

So I say, listen to your child and your gut. They shouldn't lead you astray. [smile] 
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Annaliesey

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Reply with quote  #21 
I remember when my dd was this age doing a half hour tap and a half hour ballet class once a week and she would moan and complain about going to tap. Once she came out of class she was fine and happy.

Someone suggested to me about changing my routine and not going home from school but instead take her things with me and after school go shopping or something else and then go to dance. This worked a treat for us [smile]
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