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jamquint1

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Reply with quote  #1 
I have two dancers, a 7 year old girl who has been dancing since age 3 y/o, 2nd year of competition this year and an 8 year old boy who just started dancing last spring, but loves it, so I'm letting him compete this year as well. 

Our studio only does competitions and not conventions. However, our studio is open to us attending a competition or convention that we are not attending as a studio to take the solos. 

I would love to attend Nuvo this year, as they have the nubie room and nubie competition division, which would be perfect for my daughter. My son, being 8 y/o, would compete as a mini, and due to inexperience, I suspect will not fare very well in competition, especially competing against 9 and 10 year olds. Having said that, I don't think he will care about that, and I certainly don't care about that. I would put him in the nubie room with his sister, as I think he would be lost in the mini room. 

I'm not going to lie, folks. Cost is a factor. As you all know, conventions are much more expensive than competitions, but, of course, you get the two days of classes, so I'm sure it's worth it. Including hotel, I'm thinking it would be around 800 bucks to take them both to Nuvo. 

Would I be a horrible person and parent to just take my daughter who has worked really hard for a much longer time and "earned it" and give my son the option next year or the year after? I just think my daughter ( rule follower, hard worker) would get so much more out of it than my son (goofy, some natural ability though, kind of lazy, but super enthusiastic and loves it) 
What say you all? Please don't stone me for considering not taking both of them. 


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rdsmom

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Reply with quote  #2 
At conventions, you don't have to compete. What if you take them both to just the convention part, and leave the competition off the table?

FWIW, I have 2 dancers as well, and everything is not even between them. I shoot for things being fair in the long term. If your DD wants to go to the convention, but it's not financially in the cards to take both kids, I'd find a way to do a cool thing for your DS in the near future. Not even, but somewhat fair. Hope that helps!
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nyklane

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Reply with quote  #3 
I think that would be a fine approach.  There are conventions that you can go to that don't have a competition attached - and are less expensive - perhaps one of those might be good for your son.  For example  Revel, Beyond the Stars, Spirit of Dance (and many more) all had one day conventions for less than $150.  That may give him the experience you desire without the larger pricetag.  

Also - you can go to Nuvo without doing the competition.  And many do.  You are only required the "other way around" - meaning if you compete you must take the convention.  Last year we did the nubie room with my daughter who was 7 - and we did not compete.  In fact there were about 50+ nubies but only 5 solos and 3 groups competed in the actual competition.

I do find the level of dancers - only from observing - are higher than what we see regionally.  Although we do go to Nuvo in Boston which I think draws some pretty good talent.  We will compete this year so we will find out soon!

But for lower cost I would say  - Nuvo, but no competition entry.  Or other local maybe 1 day experiences.
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heidi459

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Reply with quote  #4 
I absolutely do not think you would be a bad mom.  Your reasoning is sound.  I have four kids and they don't all have to have the exact same opportunities as the other.  I treat them as individuals not as a pack.  And we don't keep score cards either.  I know, and they know, that it will all even out over 18 yrs.   Do what you feel is best for all of you (and that includes your pocketbook) and don't feel guilty about it.

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momcrew

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Reply with quote  #5 
Somewhat different situation as there is a bigger gap between my daughters but my oldest goes to a lot more competitions/conventions than my younger daughter does. Last year was the first year I allowed her to do a convention and it was LADM's magic mini room which was perfect for her. My oldest attended a Groove convention a couple weekends ago and is going to Tremaine this weekend but I didn't not register my younger daughter. I don't feel bad at all. I feel both would be very much over her head and at that point, what is she getting out of it? As she gets older, more into the comp scene, these opportunities will come her way too but for now we're keeping it a slow boil for her. 
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MimisMom

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Reply with quote  #6 
If it’s not going to upset your son that he didn’t go, then why not. Sounds reasonable to me.
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Jacaranda

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Reply with quote  #7 
Sounds very reasonable. All children are different and unique, treating them the exact same way, just to be fair is actually a poor parenting strategy.
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tappinmom

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Reply with quote  #8 
You are not being unfair at all.  We had a family at our studio with 3 girls who were all 3 years apart.  Their rule was that the oldest one dancing got the special things.  When the oldest graduated it was time for the middle daughter to get s/d/t and such and the youngest daughter only competed groups.  When the middle daughter graduated the youngest got those opportunities.  The kids all understood that their time would come and were fine with waiting and letting the older one have the spotlight for a while.
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dave9988

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Reply with quote  #9 
Quote:
Originally Posted by jamquint1
Including hotel, I'm thinking it would be around 800 bucks to take them both to Nuvo.


For me, the question is, how much would you save by taking only your daughter?  The hotel bill won't change.  The incremental is really your son's tuition & food. 

I'm not trying to diminish the tuition charge ($250ish?) and/or the extra food tab.  Just trying to keep an eye on what you'd really be saving.
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heidi459

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Reply with quote  #10 
Quote:
Originally Posted by dave9988


For me, the question is, how much would you save by taking only your daughter?  The hotel bill won't change.  The incremental is really your son's tuition & food. 

I'm not trying to diminish the tuition charge ($250ish?) and/or the extra food tab.  Just trying to keep an eye on what you'd really be saving.


Depends on whether she'd go with a larger room with the extra body.  At some hotels the difference in price between a room with one bed and two is not insignificant.  Of course, there's always an air mattress... not that I'd know anything about that ;-)
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lovemykids

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Reply with quote  #11 
I think your reasoning of her having worked hard for it and him just starting and not yet totally serious about it is a perfect explanation for the kids. Conventions and competitions are expensive and it can be a merit earned. If he shows during the season he is in it for real, then he can get his own opportunities as well, that at one point may not be the same ones your daughter is getting. I like what Heidi said about not keeping score cards. Being fair and even doesn't necessary mean that all the children need to have the same exact thing at the same exact time. They can all have their opportunity when the time is right for each one. In our family we make a big point about celebrating each other's opportunities even if at that moment the other one is not getting one.
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Rushhourmom

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Reply with quote  #12 
Different personalities seem to get more out of conventions than others. Your daughter seems like the personality who would really thrive in the classes and with the competition portion. Your son sounds like he might have fun but it’s expensive for someone who isn’t serious and focused. I’m not a parent who ever believes my kids should have equal everything either. It’s not just perfectly fine but IMPORTANT than kids learn that they need to earn certain things and sometimes one sibling has opportunities for certain things that the others don’t. It all works itself out in the wash.
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