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New2Dance2010

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Reply with quote  #1 
I don't know where to begin....
My 11 year old DD has been dancing for 8 years and is dreaming of becoming a professional tap dancer. We live in a small town in CT that has one studio. The SO is as nice as can be to her dance children but becomes a real witch with their parents (at least me and a few others I know) and the children never see this, I am in a nice term, not happy with her. Dare I say I can't stand the favoritism- UGH! My DD is so upset with her company and all she wants to do is dance. There are so many things wrong that I don't like at this school, but it's convenient and well known. I am on the hunt for a studio or a professional that can help my daughter achieve her goals. Would ANYONE know what I can do to help her, please

Long story short, lots more BS happening here.
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Julieg

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Reply with quote  #2 
There have been so many times over the past six years that my daughter has been at her current studio that I have wanted to tell the SO or DT's off and never come back. But, then I remember how much my daughter loves it and I do my best to bite my tongue.  It became so much easier when she started driving.  I'll bet I've only been in the studio twice a year since then.  Maybe try the drop and run route.  She can't be nasty to you when you aren't there.  Or, at least it makes it a bit harder.
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NCKDAD

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Reply with quote  #3 
Look for other studios you may be willing to drive to or other opportunities to expand her training.
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nodrama15

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Reply with quote  #4 
So many times I have wanted to give SO a piece of my mind....but I know in all honesty it won't end up being beneficial to my daughter.  So I bite my tongue.  As long as my daughter is happy, I'm okay.  The day my daughter decides she wants to go elsewhere....then we are out.  But honestly, I feel like the grass is always greener.  And I usually go with the moto "better the devil you know".
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prettyprissy15

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Reply with quote  #5 
I am going to just be real here! You are a customer, and you are paying for a service! Would you keep returning to a store or restaurant with bad customer service? Why should a dance studio be any different? I don't see how you can give your money to someone who is nasty to you, and runs a business that has shady practices! Would you pay a doctor to treat you under those same circumstances? No, because you woud not feel comfortable with their skills, and you would not trust them to cure you, or give you a proper diagnosis! I understand that your daughter likes the studio, but that's because it is the only studio that she knows. You may think that she doesn't notice what s going on, but if it's that bad, she notices! She may be just putting up with it because you are allowing it! You don't have to be nasty to the SO, but you need to have a heart to heart with her befor you pay her another dime!
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ggsmith

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Reply with quote  #6 
Until about January of this year DD was content to remain at a school I did not think was serving her purpose.  About a year before that, I started exposing her to everything I could find, aggressively.  Workshops, intensive weekends, master classes, etc.  I took her to five different summer programs of varying intensity and length last summer within an hour or so driving from home.  We are lucky to be near a metropolitan area, but I was surprised at how many dance programs are in the area when I really started looking.  If it were anything other than intensive ballet training, I could get DD some decent training within 30 minutes of home.  If we had to, we could cobble together a decent training program in ballet from some of the great teachers we found tucked away in some nearby competition studios where DD took trial classes this spring.  I guess what I'm saying is that if you are willing to drive a bit and be open minded, there may be something out there that would serve your and your daughter's needs.  While forcing a young dancer to change their school might be counterproductive, exposing your dancer to good training wherever you can find it will never harm your dancer and might make her more open-minded about where and how she gets her training as well.  Best of luck to you and her!
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nyklane

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Reply with quote  #7 
Where are you in CT?  I'm in a small town too here in CT - and I agree with ggsmith's comment - there may be other opportunities or hidden gems nearby...
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New2Dance2010

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Reply with quote  #8 
Thank you for everyone's input. We are in New Haven.
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Beccasmom

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Reply with quote  #9 
I'd hardly call New Haven a small town. I'm in NJ and have driven through there on our way to Mass. and RI and I would classify it as a small city. There's got to be other choices in your area.
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BalletMom62567

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Reply with quote  #10 
Speaking as someone who is leaving a shady studio, I cannot recommend it highly enough. It has taken us 5 years to recognize how bad our studio really is, but I'm so happy so much has come to light this year. Looking back there were so many red flags I ignored bc my daughter was happy (on the outside). Now that we have decided to leave and have found a new dance home, we are all so much happier. She loves her friends there so any issues/comments etc that were said to her she did not share with us knowing we would find a new studio. But once we made the decision to leave, she unloaded all kinds of issues she endured but never talked about to us.
I truly empathize with your situation. I never realized what opportunities existed in my area (mainly bc our SO banned all students from taking any sort of class anywhere else and bad mouthed everyone). When I really started looking and talking to people I found it hard to choose which one! But we did, and we are very excited for her to begin next season in her new studio! Good luck. I hope you are able to find some peace or a new dance home!
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nyklane

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Reply with quote  #11 
I probably can guess where you are at.  Perhaps we've seen each other in comps this year? [smile]  That being said depending on how far you'd drive I suspect there are a few other studios available to you at the same level.  I'd even check out the studios in our local comps to see locations - or winners to see placements - or if you took notes in any program of dancers/dances you liked. There are several quality studios 'around'.  I hope you can find one for your girl.  Unfortunately I'm very far north of you (close to Mass) so my knowledge is limited.  But I'll ask around.. [smile]
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New2Dance2010

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Reply with quote  #12 
Thank you everyone. I am in New Haven County. I am willing to drive for my daughters dreams. Of course academics must come first [smile]
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dancemonkey

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Reply with quote  #13 
Quote:
Originally Posted by New2Dance2010
Thank you everyone. I am in New Haven County. I am willing to drive for my daughters dreams. Of course academics must come first [smile]
Not to diss academics or to start a bunny trail. But for us dance and the arts always came first and because of this my girls grades were always very good. Because they are dancers they learned to manage their time early on. I was lucky I also found good training at a studio 10 minutes from my house! A question to ask is the training good or are you worried about favoritism. There is a young woman at our studio who was always a side and back row dancer. She now has grown into a beautiful front row dancer and some of the front row dancers have quit dance!
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