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jlm645

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Reply with quote  #26 
Quote:
Originally Posted by rdsmom
Quote:
Originally Posted by melissa745
I am dealing with this with my 10 year old DD. She is already thin, and her BMI is dropping. We just went to her annual checkup, and the doctor gave us the name of a nutritionist that specializes with kids with eating disorders. but I'm worried that will make her hyperfocus and that perhaps a psychiatrist is better.


She's already hyperfocused. A psychiatrist is a medical doctor who primarily prescribes medication for emotional or behavioral disorders. In most metro areas, there are waiting lists from 4-12 weeks to see a psychiatrist. I would recommend a nutritionist as well as a therapist/counselor with experience in teens/children with eating disorders. I hope it goes well and she can change her thinking about food!


I work in mental health and absolutely believe there is a place for psychotropic medications.  I've worked with lots of kids and adults that medication is very literally saving their life. 

BUT, meds are a final step in a comprehensive treatment plan- not a first step and not an only step.  Few medications are actually approved for children, so much of what is prescribed is "off-label" which means they don't actually know the long term effects for kids.  That doesn't mean it's never worth the risk, but it does mean that there is always a risk so you have to be very sure it's worth it.

And, this post is very correct- there is shortage of psychiatrists and some areas of the country have serious needs.  You could wait a long time for a good psychiatrist, who will then tell you to start with a nutritionist and/or therapist.  You will probably be able to find someone who will just write a script without any other supports, but that is not a psychiatrist I would trust. 

I understand the impulse to address it through the "back door."  My personal experience, and what many others are saying here, is that it's fast and more effective to be direct and take it head on.

Best wishes as you move forward with your daughter.

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Mittenmom3

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Reply with quote  #27 
Add me to the bandwagon of seeking help sooner rather than later. Listen to that mom radar, its usually spot on.

The dance world can be very unforgiving about weight and body image. That balance between long and lithe yet strong and powerful is hard to achieve. My dd13 is a tiny one, so I watch her eating carefully and so does her pediatrician. He spent a lot of time discussing her diet at her last check up. He knows she dances and wanted to be sure that she's eating a well rounded diet. I'm also pretty quick to stop anyone telling her that she's too thin.

I didn't realize that vegetarianism could be a sign leading to an ED either. Interesting. My personal opinion is that if you're going to eliminate a food group, you need to find alternatives to supplement in order to get the proper nutrients. My ds17s former girlfriend went veg for a time when she was 14-15. She also didn't drink milk. She ended up with some chronic health issues because of it, all involving her bones, joints, vitamin deficiencies.

Anyway, best to you and yor dd.
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cheeranddancemom03

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Reply with quote  #28 
Please get her help as soon as you can. My own daughter died from this very disorder. She was engulfed in negative body image when she was really young. She was following many pro ana blogs and forums and pro ana accounts on Instagram. She died from cardiac arrest in her sleep. I guess what I'm trying to say is take all concerns to your doctors. Dont ignore the signs and please encourage positive body image.
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tendumom

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Reply with quote  #29 
I don't want to hit the "thumbs up" on cheeranddancemom03's post because it just doesn't seem appropriate. I am so very sorry to read this and wanted to thank you for sharing what happened to your daughter. I had heard of but seen these pro-ana accounts and found them utterly frightening when my dd came across them on her friend's account. Her friend is no longer dancing and seems to have deleted that instagram account. Dd does not have much contact with her at all these days (dd had left that studio and few remained in contact with dd in general) so I don't have much follow up. I am hoping the girl whose path I shared in my first post is on the road to recovery. When I see news like cheeranddancemom03's, I worry about this girl. 
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cheeranddancemom03

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Reply with quote  #30 
Quote:
Originally Posted by tendumom
I don't want to hit the "thumbs up" on cheeranddancemom03's post because it just doesn't seem appropriate. I am so very sorry to read this and wanted to thank you for sharing what happened to your daughter. I had heard of but seen these pro-ana accounts and found them utterly frightening when my dd came across them on her friend's account. Her friend is no longer dancing and seems to have deleted that instagram account. Dd does not have much contact with her at all these days (dd had left that studio and few remained in contact with dd in general) so I don't have much follow up. I am hoping the girl whose path I shared in my first post is on the road to recovery. When I see news like cheeranddancemom03's, I worry about this girl. 
Thank you for the kind words. I try to be such a big advocate about healthy eating and positive body image but negative thoughts and words occur every day.
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mom2dancinboyngirl

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Reply with quote  #31 
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChelleB70
 I see so many people insist they or their kids are lactose intolerant but refuse to take the lactaid caplets.  Or gluten sensitive when I know they truly aren't.  Or allergic to (fill in the blank) all of a sudden.  To me, a lot of it (not all) is like a code that they're restricting themselves (and/or their children) in order to lose weight.  When it's junk, there's nothing wrong with it but it can get out of control.  I know adults who are vegetarian, vegan or always on fad "health" diets and their children already have what looks to be disordered eating.  


I'm really curious about this comment... how exactly would you know for a fact that someone isn't gluten intolerant? And why is being allergic to something "all of a sudden" so suspect? It could be completely genuine... that's generally speaking how it happens... there's a tipping point when an allergy/intolerance can no longer be ignored, and the individual figures out what it is (either through testing or food elimination).

I hope I don't come off to people as being dishonest, as I fit the some of the elements of the profile you've outlined. I have recently been diagnosed by my naturopath with food intolerances to stuff I've eaten for years... wheat, corn, eggs and gluten are all banned substances for me now (based on test results). I've been seeking relief for my severe symptoms of IBS (which started up very suddenly last December), and eliminating these foods is the first thing that has actually helped me. I also suffer from anaphylactic allergies to peanuts and tree nuts (both with me since childhood), so I'm aware of the differences between an intolerance (which is quite a delayed response for me) and an allergy (which for me is virtually instant).

I don't want my children to develop food issues because of me, so I'm the only one implementing all of these restrictions. A few things are being done for convenience (rice pasta subbed for wheat, as there is really no way to tell the difference), but that's it.  I hope the only outcome for them might be healthier eating if they choose to imitate me (my DS especially is a wheat addict, as I was before I eliminated it from my diet... I'm hoping my change of diet inspires him to cut back some, but not eliminate unless he wants to). I suppose the best thing is to remain watchful and keep my eyes open for any unhealthy changes in their eating habits.
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DianeMcKnight

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Reply with quote  #32 
Quote:
Originally Posted by compmom123
Hey so I'm looking for a little advice on this one. Dd14 is not fat- she weighs 103 lbs and is almost 5"3. She has a bmi of 18.6 However I believe that the 'all dancers must be sticks' idea is getting to her. She has started eating less, and has stopped wearing a sports bra to dance, exercising like crazy, and is always checking calories before she eats anything. A lot of the girls on her dance team are stick thin. Any mom advice on how to stop this before it gets unhealthy/ tell her she isn't fat. Thanks!


That was my dd a little while back. A friend of hers shared personal experiences with dieting and that seemed to do the trick. Maybe you could have your dd reach out to other dancers that dont have that mindset? Or you could talk to her about different dancers such as Kalani Hilliker or famous people who are more thick and muscular, but definitely not overweight. 
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mykidsrock

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Reply with quote  #33 
Hi,

Please take her to her doctor ASAP. She needs 2000-3000 calories a day if she is a competitive dancer. My 10 year old daughter was at Sick Kids for a month two years ago and we are finally back on track.  She can do damage to her heart bones and stunt her growth. Reading labels.....cutting food into small parts....telling you that she "doesn't feel well"...telling you "I ate earlier" ......all are signs. I didn't want to believe that my daughter was struggling as badly as she was. It wasn't until I really pushed did the horrible beast really rear it's ugly head.  Make sure your doctor takes her heart rate lying down ...sitting up ...to standing.....any jump in those is an alarm. 
My daughter started because she was having tummy issues - she was scared of being sick so she limited "fatty foods" "junk food" "heavy food" and then she started losing weight - at first I thought she was just being "healthy".....and that "she was getting taller and slimming out".....within a couple of months I knew it was more serious and tried to monitor it myself - finally having to take her out of dance - and then she stopped eating completely. We ended up at the hospital within a week - if you could avoid that nightmare I would feel that at least we helped someone else.

She has an awesome doctor now and an even better therapist - she is back at dance and healthier and happier than she has ever been.

Feel free to private message me - I would love to help you if I can.

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dave9988

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Reply with quote  #34 
Any chance the studio owner/teachers would help? As in, you don't ingest enough calories, you can't take class.  Dicey conversation, but I've seen it work in combination with medical help.
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BallerinaPaisley06

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Reply with quote  #35 
Quote:
Originally Posted by cheeranddancemom03
Please get her help as soon as you can. My own daughter died from this very disorder. She was engulfed in negative body image when she was really young. She was following many pro ana blogs and forums and pro ana accounts on Instagram. She died from cardiac arrest in her sleep. I guess what I'm trying to say is take all concerns to your doctors. Dont ignore the signs and please encourage positive body image.


I'm so sorry for your loss, cheeranddancemom03.
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meatball77

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Reply with quote  #36 
This post is a year old. . .
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Dancingdd

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Reply with quote  #37 
Do not wait. Go to the doctor now. She is very young to start this behavior. However DD had a pretty good friend in preschool who was diagnosed with anorexia at the age of 4! We remained friends until they were 6 and then I pulled away. They go to different schools so it wasn't difficult. I know this may sound awful but I didn't want my daughter exposed at the age of 6 to anorexia (or any eating disorder). Plus the mom was always dressing her up and taking pictures and putting make up on her, in other words emphasizing that looks are important. I also didn't want my daughter exposed to that. While they are still young we have control over who they spend time with.
I read ballet dancers are 25 times more likely to have an eating disorder than the general population. The desire for perfection. Sad. I hope this changes.
I hope you seek out help now.
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mykidsrock

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Reply with quote  #38 
Quote:
Originally Posted by meatball77
This post is a year old. . .


Oops sorry that was my fault - maybe it will end up helping someone else.
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